Sometimes, I’m lazy.
Sometimes, after a long hard day, all I want to do is come home, get some food in me and then sit in front of my laptop and relax with a couple of episodes from my favorite TV series.
It’s so easy to do that, isn’t? It’s so easy to settle into comfort. It’s so easy to just cuddle with a bag of chips. It’s so easy to procrastinate, to tell yourself you are far too tired to do anything right now. It’s so easy to just click on the play button and be hypnotized by the screen for the next three hours.
But nothing ever worth having is easy to obtain.
I want to be a writer. There, I said it. It is my ultimate dream. I want to be published. I want to see my book on the shelves of book stores. I want people to read my words. But laziness and procrastination seemed to always be a barrier to that dream. I made up excuses. I’m too tired to write. I’m not inspired. I have more time tomorrow. I need to finish reading that book before I write.
Yesterday, I decided enough was enough. I did a little soul searching, dug deep into the recesses of my subconscious and asked myself, ‘How badly do you want to become a good writer?’ I did want to become a writer. But I obviously didn’t want it badly enough yet if I was being lazy and surfing on the internet in my spare time.
So I imagined myself on my deathbed. Morbid, I know, but I wanted to put things in perspective. If I was on my deathbed and had not become a writer, hadn’t published or hadn’t at the very least worked tirelessly in improving at the craft of writing throughout my life, how would I feel?
As I put myself into the scenario, the anguish hit me plumb in the chest like a mallet. I would leave existence in misery. Did I want that? No. Hell no. Maybe existence is meaningless and nothing is worth bothering about. One day, the sun will engulf the earth and humanity may end with all the wonderful art humans created being all for naught. I don’t care. I have to write. It’s in me. I have a writer’s heart and a writer’s mind and now I just need a writer’s discipline.
That’s why I’ve decided that, from now on, I am going to write every single day. I won’t have a set word amount I have to reach. As long as I open up that Word document and type up at least a paragraph, even if the writing is horrible and I just want to throw in the towel because the words don’t sound right and feel cold, hard and artificial, I will keep on going.
Writing a post about this makes me accountable for writing every day. Sure, I used to write all the time before but it was sporadic and stemmed from the inspiration of a moment. The only way I can get better is through practice. Each day will be a step closer towards mastery. And no matter how hard it gets I will push forward. That is an unbreakable promise I am making with myself.
How about you? Is there something you are working towards every day? Has laziness and procrastination ever stopped you from working towards your ultimate aim or goal?