I Am A Stupid Romantic

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(Photo is from MorgueFile. I do not claim any ownership of the image)

I am Anne Shirley from the Anne of Green Gables books reincarnated (hey, fictional characters are real to me. Don’t judge). I am so romantic, not only in terms of love but also reality, that I’m scared I will never achieve happiness because of my unfulfilled idealized visions.

I’m scared I’ll end up an old maid who lives inside the rich world of her mind with only a host of feline friends to keep her company. I’m scared of dying without ever knowing what it is like to fall in love.

So, I decided to create a list of ways in which I am a romantic. Writing about issues has always been cathartic for me. And perhaps you can relate to some of them, too.

1. I twist every innocent situation with a man into a romantic one in my head. It’s like I am so desperate for romance that my mind tries to compensate for it by seeing innuendos which aren’t really there. That man who opened the door for you? He was just being polite. He isn’t going to fall in love with you during your stay at the hotel and whisk you on a romantic adventure by the end of the week. Gosh, girl.

2. I love antiques and old buildings. There is something magical about them that sends a shiver up my spine. Everything ancient, a brooch, a crumbling book with silverfish pasted within its pages, a castle in ruins, seem to hold a story, a wondrous past full of secrets and mystery. Oh? This brooch? It belonged to a duchess who had a torrid love affair and then killed herself with her lover’s name on her last dying breath…

3. Strong emotions make me happy. I love tragic stories. They make me feel such exquisite sorrow. I love reading beautiful poetry and watching the stars in the sky because they fill me with indescribable joy. I can’t stand the in between. I can’t stand indifference, neutrality. I feel the most alive when everything is dramatic.

4. I imagine my life as being a romantic fairytale. I’m a pathetic woman who never outgrew her Disney Princess movies. I may be shy but I’m sweet and one day a Prince Charming will fall in love with me. Please, please, please. *wishes on a star*

5. I burst into song when alone. When I take my solitary works, I start singing and imagine myself as a character in a musical film. It allows me to escape the mundaneness of reality. It’s awkward when someone walks past and I try to pretend I am just humming.

6. I idealize people. I don’t only idealize men who I observe but never talk to, construing them as the perfect man in my head. I have also romanticized other people such as teachers, imagining them to be noble pioneers in their field who understood me as an introvert and thought I was special. It never coincided with the reality.

7. I still think I am special. Deep down, I know I’m not immensely talented or original or wonderful. But I’m so romantic that I think I am special because it helps me to cope with existence and reality. I want to feel like my life matters even if only a handful of people will care if I die at this point. It’s a delusion I maintain for my own sanity (more on this in a later post).

Are you a romantic? Or grounded and pragmatic? Which do you think is better?

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8 thoughts on “I Am A Stupid Romantic

  1. You are not stupid. I feared being alone but I did meet a wonderful woman who I have been married to for 18 years. Unfortunately she is more extraverted so at times I retreat but my point is there IS someone out there for you and I dont think you will be alone. I am still a hopeless romantic and believe in love. When you find it, you will cling to it with all your being.

    I spent many years before I met my wife being in love with one who did not love me in that way. It was hard to let go. Very hard for us emotional people. Not surprised you are the way you are.

  2. Every word you write in your posts, it’s like your reading my heart. Keep writing! I’m in love with your work!
    I’m also an INFP and this makes me want to write again. 🙂

  3. Hello, I just want you to know that you are not stupid because of how you feel. I crave romance in everyday life. I can think of 100 ordinary things in everyday life that can be done romantically. Does that make me stupid? No! The proper term I use is that I am an Incurable Romantic. And so are you. It is a good thing. So the next time you think of degrading your self worth, re-word your terms because you are an Incurable Romantic and you are beautiful. 🙂 Have a Great Day and continue dreamrambling because its so inspiring. makes me want to start a blog. so I have you to thank for that. 🙂

    • You should start a blog 🙂 If you do, link me it. I’ll definitely read it. And thank you for that. I will hereby pronounce myself no longer a stupid romantic, but an incurable romantic. You have a great day yourself. Honestly, I’ll say it again, I wish people like you were my friends in real life. Can you imagine having a group of INFP friends to talk to? Bliss.

  4. I wish i could find a girl like you to love, all i want from life is a girl like you
    Been reading a lot of your stories on here, and i love it
    You have such a wonderful crazy mind, which is a good thing,.. a really really good thing
    Youre so kind, overly modest, crazy, wonderfully romantic, and so shy,.. its the cutest thing ever(i consider shyness to be the most attractive quality a girl can have)
    You have the most beautiful personality someone can have, if id meet you and catch you shyly smiling at me, my heart would probably melt

    Actually had that not too long ago with a girl, she just kept staring at me in my eyes every time i was near, often smiling shyly and turn her gaze from me as soon as she noticed i noticed her
    Went on for months and found myself starting to do the same thing, never really talking to her, but i started to like her myself, thinking it was some coy display of affection
    I actually asked her out,.. kinda, but she rejected me
    So i guess there was never anything there at all in the first place

    But i dont know, if a girl does that to me i just have a tendency of falling for her
    Now i rarely ever ask anyone out, only done so twice in my life, both rejected me

    But i did have love once, i know how beautiful it can be, but also how horrible it is when it ends
    I wish i could put in words how amazing it feels to have your love returned so you could feel it yourself, but i can not
    Its impossible to describe even with all the words of a thousand languages or even music, im sorry
    I hope you will find what youre looking for, you are very special, wonderfully unique

    Now i better stop reading your stuff before i actually fall in love with you,.. but you fascinate me so much

    • Aw, you’re sweet. Your words really, really touched my heart. As an INFP–which I am guessing you probably are–though, you must remember to add a little dose of realism to all such fantasies, and realize that, if we were to ever meet in real life, it is not guaranteed we would find each other compatible. That, however, in my opinion, should not deter one from indulging in fantasies. I think it is, in the end, only in fantasies where I feel truly at peace and happy—so dream away, and let us love in our minds and our thoughts, where there is never any pain or suffering to taint the love.

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