8 Life Tips for INFPs (aka Idealists) Which I Don’t Follow


**If any of you who read my blog or are just stumbling across it are needing any life advice or guidance, especially if you are sensitive, introverted or a dreamer and feels a little lost in this cold world, please send your Skype username to dreamerrambling@hotmail.com. Though I can’t guarantee I can speak with everyone, I will try my best. These sessions will be free, as I’m just going to be practicing my life coaching skills and developing my own techniques and learning how to talk and counsel people. Thank you for helping me practice and taking me a step further on this new little journey of mine, and I hope that I can help you in the process too. Please no spam: it’d be good to send a message along with your username telling me a little about yourself. Thanks. Keep dreaming.

1. Stop caring what other people think. Other people don’t matter. What matters is you and your life. You are nothing but a passing thought in most people’s minds (sorry, it’s the truth). So if they don’t give a damn about you, why do you give a damn about what is going on in their brains? Live your life and stop feeling hurt and over analyzing people.

2. Money isn’t the root of all evil. INFPs have habit of disdaining money. They lift their noses into the air and pronounce haughtily that wealth doesn’t matter to them, that they will follow their passions even if it means becoming a starving artist. But money is useful. It is needed for survival. So please, don’t ignore it. Think about it as a tool (not the main source of happiness) that can you help you achieve the life you want to have. Get a job that pays okay and spend the rest of your free time dreaming, writing and reading.

3. You have to face reality sometimes. Okay, I know, the clouds up there with the rainbows and faeries and magic and wonder is awfully appealing. But you’ve got come down to Earth sometimes. Don’t shut yourself in your room in your own fantasy world while letting the bills pile up, your savings dwindle and your relationships with other people wither all the while cursing the cruel world and retreating into books.

4. What matters is the present. I know you’ve got that sparkly vision in your mind of the future. But that’s the future, it hasn’t happened yet. You have to concentrate on the present and do your best to move forward in your life right now. And here’s the thing (you ready? you ready for this?): The future will eventually become the present. If you’re always comforting yourself with the thought that the future will be better, you’ll be just chasing your own shadow until the day you die.

5. Logic (aka practicality) is useful. Oh, how I used to belittle logic! I thought creativity was the zenith and sublimation of human thought. But logic is vital for survival. It’s used to construct buses and trains and planes, grow food to feed the world, creates new medicines for diseases, etc. Pretty words and pretty thoughts aren’t going to effect much change in the world. Doing things through using logic to transmute those pretty thoughts into flesh and blood reality? That’s what’s really going to make a difference.

6. It is impossible to achieve perfection. No, no, listen. Really listen. Let the words be branded into your mind. It is impossible. There is no such thing as perfection. So stop trying to make you, your life and other people around you perfect. It’s just not happening. You are wonderful human being and should give yourself more credit for your achievements. Also, your partner will never be perfect. Don’t idealize them to the point where they feel they can’t live up to your expectations.

7. Not everyone you meet is out to get you. I know INFPs can see insults and criticisms that aren’t there because we read into things so much using our intuition. A lot people are nice in the world. A lot of people in the world also say things without thinking. Don’t morph words and suggestions into hints that other people don’t like you or want to bully you. So don’t take things too personally (I know, that’s kind of like telling a penguin to fly. But we have to work on it! *determined expression with pencil raised high in the air like a victory sword*).

8. Try to be a little less reserved. Now before you throw your tomatoes at me, hear me out. I don’t mean go against your very nature and force yourself to be an extrovert, which is just stupid. I just mean that maybe next time, when you are deciding whether to talk to a person, talk to them. Next time a teacher asks a question (if you’re still in school), raise your hand. Make a new friend. Step out of your social boundaries just a little and you might find it better and easier than you expected. It could also be a great confidence booster!

So, there you go. Sorry, what was that? I have to practice what I preach? Now where did you ever get a funny idea like that? Lord, practice what I preach….the ridiculous things people come up with these days…*scoffs*

What about you guys? Have an tips to add?


27 thoughts on “8 Life Tips for INFPs (aka Idealists) Which I Don’t Follow

  1. Those are all good tips for getting out in the world but I think it is important to factor in lots of down time when you aren’t relating to others. I find I need to detach from others to simply re-charge the batteries.

    • Couldn’t agree with you more, Suzanne. The world can be tiring. I suppose INFPs have to achieve a balance between time by themselves in their fantasy world and time in the real world being involved in some practical matters. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  2. It’s really a great post. I’m an INFP and I like your blog, but I find it less easy to navigate between posts. Maybe you should add “read more” button/link so people can easily see other posts quickly. But it’s only my suggestion 🙂

    Keep posting.. 😉

  3. I enjoyed this very much and especially agree with number 7: “Not everyone you meet is out to get you.” I quite agree and yet find it very difficult to put this simple truth into action.

    However, I personally do not relate to number 5: “Logic (aka practicality) is useful.” While I agree with this assertion, I do not think the rest of the passage applies to every INFP out there, as I consider myself a highly logical person who, in fact, uses her creativity and thoughtfulness as a means to much-needed objectivity.

    • Definitely, I agree as well; most of these are generalized points, as, like you said, INFPs can be remarkably different from one another; that point was simply meant to touch upon the commonly held belief (which also happens to be applicable in my case) that INFPs generally tend to be more emotional than logical. However, you can find INFPs in various “practical” fields, from computer science to engineering, so Myer-Briggs personality types can only be used as a general idea of how a person is. It’s good that you’re not boxing yourself in simply based on a personality test. Do you, and be happy. 🙂

  4. I use my logic to tell myself ‘those people 30m away are not laughing at you! ‘ lol im laughing because otherwise cry. All characters are root patterns i think and have triggers from childhood that weve just basically not analysed and tried to overcome if they are felt as negative. My interactions with people is getting minimul. I just dont know what i even crave from them because ive never experienced positive relationships so focussing on yourself is one sure way to improve this first aswel as approaching approachable people too lol baby steps

  5. im usually depressed because is started believing in atheism and i spend most of my days getting sad and upset just thinking about the death of everyone i love and it would be like nothing because god doesn’t exist and their souls wont live on cuz god doesn’t exist
    i want to cry most of the time because of this
    also the fact that i aint got no man :c which saddens me also its like my dream to be sad
    with someone else for a change i think i would be a bit stronger if i had someone else to be sad with ,fortunately .My friends are here for emotional support but i dont want to destroy their day because of my sadness so i just say everything is fine wich isnt true,maybe cuz im only fine when im with my loved once but when im far away from them i feel suicidal and lonely
    thats why i can never be without friends and family because i think i might kill my self if im far from them

    • If you still feel this way – and I imagine you might – search the name i’m using on this comment on skype. I can relate very much to everything you wrote. Seriously think about it. 🙂

  6. Hi thought there were some great tips here. I have gone through half of my life trying to be someone I’m not to for in most people think I’m loud etc it was mostly alcohol or acting. Just done my test I’m 42 ! I am also info being a hermit doesn’t work think key is find like minded people check you don’t have anxiety disorder etc. Also I’ve stopped myself being successful as thought it was bad to have money but you need it to look after yourself. 20 yrs of trying to work in offices + for in with designer label type women I wasn’t lacking just different. I’d like to write now but seem to be blank whenever I try ???? Lol to you + readers. ” dance to your own beat ” 😉

    • Thanks. I know what it’s like. The only path to a life of happiness is to be true to yourself, at all times, even when it’s hard–and it sounds like you’ve definitely understood this. I wish you happiness.

  7. I get hurt all believed other people think like me. But I’ve learned the hard lesson that nice guys finish last. That is some really good advice you wrote. I’m going to copy it down and try to review it often. Its hard being an idealist, its like being from another planet. I expect others to think and feel like me, but they never do.

  8. I have an extroverted friend who blithely tells me to “call anytime”! And I just can’t. Fortunetly, she calls me and I have caller ID, so it’s safe to answer. And there’s another woman in my bldg who wants to be friends — all well and good, but she CALLS me and I don’t know her well enough to talk to her on the phone. Then there’s my neighbor across the hall …. I tell her to come over “anytime” (meaning I don’t want to make plans), but she can’t because she’s allergic to my cat. So I would have to leave my comfy little hole and travel clear across the hall or — and this is the Big One —– CALL her!
    tsk tsk it’s just too much 😉

    • This is the funniest comment i have ever read. Everyone seems unable to properly call anyone, and you seem bombarded with social stress. I hope you can find a happy medium in your life—maybe you could try calling them first, or popping into your neighbour’s house, when you feel comfortable?

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