An INFP (Idealist) Can Never Be…


There seems to be this idea circulating the internet that INFPs (an introverted and idealistic personality) are these soft, pure, airy sprites who are oh so kind hearted and loving and gracious.

That’s not true.

We can be mean. We can be selfish. We can be cruel. We can hurt other people. We can also be caring, loving, generous and sweet. We’re human. No one is utterly wicked or good, just as no one is completely introverted or extroverted.

But, in my opinion, you may disagree after all, there are just some…kinds of people that INFPs can never be. Well, not never. If you forced me at gunpoint, I would do anything because the wild call of self preservation surpasses all other impulses in living creatures. But if my life and the lives of my loved ones were not endangered in the situation, I would never, ever become these, shall we say, personas.

1.   A gold digger.  Okay, as a proud feminist, I find these women to be renegades who are spoiling it for all the women who have fought so hard to gain their rights. It is such a degrading ‘occupation’, like, can’t earn your own money without relying on some rich guy? It’s so incredibly demeaning. But, disregarding that, this is something INFPs cannot be. For one thing, we don’t find wealth to be particularly important so why would we make an effort to attract men just for their money? I can’t stand artificial relationships which these often are and don’t see relationships or marriage as a business transaction. Many of these women also have to be eloquent conversationalists. As an extreme introvert, this would be difficult. I guess I won’t be rich any time soon but at least my morals will be intact.

2. A criminal. Alright, I admit it, I think I am a good, law abiding citizen. This doesn’t make me boring. INFPs can’t dabble in serious crime (by serious crime, I mean anything worse than stealing a lollipop from the milk bar down the street) because it ultimately just hurts innocent people. We’re idealists, we dream of a harmonious world without war and crime with everyone dancing through meadows with flocks butterflies coalescing in the air. We’re just too peaceful to become a criminal.

3. A unscrupulous salesperson. Let’s just ignore the fact that sales is not something an INFP would willingly select as an occupation. I can just imagine it:

Me: Excuse me sir/madam, I am so sorry for bothering you but would you like to hear about our new range of products –

Random person: (glares) No thank you.

Me: (close to tears, dying inside) Oh, I’m so sorry, but if you would just listen –

Random person: I said no. Can you please stop harassing me?

Me: Okay, will do, very sorry. I’m so sorry. Have a nice day. I’m so sorry for bothering you.

Anyway, the key word here is unscrupulous. An INFP has a set of morals and values which are fixed. Many INFPs don’t believe  in cozening doddery old fools out of their hard earned cash. It is just immoral. I would sell a product if I believed it in it’s inherent worth. Anything less, nuh-uh.

4. A player. There are many women who go through men like they’re, I don’t know, chip packets. I don’t judge them. It’s their life and they can live it as they choose, as long as it makes them happy and doesn’t hurt anyone…too much? Anyway. But INFPs are all for the whole soul mate and love at first sight sort of thing. At least, I am. I can’t imagine burning through partners. If I ever am in a relationship, I put my whole heart and soul into it. It’s kind of scary how deeply I can love because there is a great potential for pain. Being a player? It is too shallow and artificial for INFPs. We search for the one and then that’s it. INFPs would never cheat on their partners. And if we’re ever cheated on by a player, we’d fall into an abyss of melodramatic despair.

Well, there you go. INFPs aren’t saints but there are just some things that cross the line. These points probably apply to most people, not just INFPs, because most people are scrupulous and nice.

Thanks for reading.


9 thoughts on “An INFP (Idealist) Can Never Be…

  1. I actually worked in sales for a while (it was business to business though). Was the most conflicting time of my life. I hated the sucking up/persuading I had to do.

  2. You speak the truth! I can’t even bluff when playing poker. I can’t wear make-up because I feel like I am presenting myself dishonestly. Don’t get on my bad side because I can be mean, cruel and heartless, too.

    I think that one of my major problems is I don’t understand peoples desire for money, why does success equal how much money you make? My sister lives in Pacific Palisades, California, in a multi-million dollar house. I live in a mobile home. My family tells me I’m jealous of what she has, because I insist that money doesn’t equal happiness. It took my husband to point out that they may feel that way because of my emotional insistence that they are wrong. I can actually see that, I get emotional because of my intensity of trying to convince them that there is so much more to life than money, and they just don’t buy it.

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