I don’t know if I’ve actually explicitly stated before, but I’m an INFP.
If those four letters mean as much to you as hieroglyphics (unless you can comprehend hieroglyphics, in which case, substitute whatever arcane language you are not well-versed in in its place), search ‘Myer-Briggs’ on Google and you’ll know what I mean. The illegible scratches will morph into lucid meaning. Promise.
Okay. INFP. Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving. Basically, this personality type is ‘The Dreamer’. We are essentially the daydreaming pixies of the world who have never found their way out of the garden of fantasyland since childhood. It makes us very employable and practical people, oh, yes, indeed it does. And when it comes to the finer points of life, such as love and well, living in general, we can certainly have a quirky take on things.
So, without further ado, I present to you a few ways you can tell if an INFP has a crush on you. If someone is demonstrating any of the below behaviors towards you and you do not like them, please, be gentle about it. We are soft creatures at heart, no matter how hard and cynical a front we may put up, and bleed easily.
1. We avoid you.
Look. We can be confident. We can be bold. But we’re also highly sensitive and introverted. So when it comes to the business of love, we’re quite touchy and reserved about it. We won’t make the first move, and secretly wish, pray, dream about you approaching us first. It’s just a natural aversion as part of our temperament. Would you touch a live wire? Would you cut your body open and expose your gleaming entrails into the cold air for the vultures to snack on? That’s how it would feel, confessing our love. So, I guess this isn’t really helpful, but if an INFP likes you, she or he probably has barely spoken to you.
2. WE AVOID YOU.
This is such a huge sign that we like you, I have to repeat it twice. If there’s that one person who continually avoids your glance, leaves in your presence or ignores you pointedly for no apparent reason, and they often have a spacey look on their faces, it’s probably an INFP who has a heart-splintering crush on you. You know, just trying to drive the point home.
3. We sneak glances at you.
There’s the small matter of us idealizing you from afar. Yeah, we’re kind of fond of doing that with people. So, for us, our brains can shimmer with romantic daydreams if we look, but not touch, metaphorically, if you get what I mean. Let’s not get sexual about this people – dreamers want love, not, well, that.
4. After seeing us sneak not-so-subtle glances at you and finding out that we have a crush on you, you talk to us and find out suddenly our attraction towards you has disappeared.
Whew. That’s a mouthful. See, the thing about ideals is that they are not actually grounded in reality. We’ve spent weeks, months, years, building up a paragon of human excellence based on the glances we have sneaked in your direction. You’re perfect in our minds, enveloped in a corona of heavenly light. But once we talk to you, the illusion disappears, we see your ordinariness and it doesn’t fit in with the fantasy, and, oops, off drops your halo. I know, it’s a big problem, we’re working on it. It’s just so easy for us to fall in love with idea of love than love itself.
I know this probably applies to other personality types, but these behaviors, at least in my experience, are more commonly expressed by INFPs. I’d love to hear any of your strange and wacky behaviors when it comes to love. Ah, c’est la vie. And this is coming from someone who did not speak a single word to her crush, even after she left school, not only because of her avoidant behavior, but also because she didn’t want to shatter the illusion. I wanted to preserve him in my mind in all of his godliness, rather than see him fall with a thump down to earth and transform back into an average human.
Oh, my love life? It’s great. Brilliant. And also non-existent.