The Different Types Of Dreamers

Sad Man

Why do people dream?

Because reality is boring. That’s why.

Because every single person on this earth is a dreamer.

However, you’ll find that there are different types of dreamers. Here are a few of them.

The Day-Dreamers

These are the people who are content with dreams that slot neatly into reality. I would like to be famous one day. I would like to be rich. I wish to meet my true love. I want to be successful at my business. I want to be admired. They are resourceful, confident, and friendly people. These are the kinds of people who love Hollywood entertainment – chick flicks, action movies, etc. – and spend money on large screen televisions and overpriced popcorn. They are content, and feel comfortable and even safe inhabiting reality. For them, reality and all its possibilities hold all the wonders they could ever desire.

The Life-Dreamers

These people love to escape reality, and fall in love with fantastical worlds and the characters that inhabit them. Life-dreamers are the people who buy tickets to midnight movie premieres and treasure every item in their Lord of the Rings merchandise collection. They weep heart-tears over the fact that they can’t actually attend Hogwarts, or find a magical ecosystem of fairies at the bottom of their garden. They are often avid readers of science-fiction and fantasy, and wish magic truly existed in the boring, mundane world, and that they could go on fantastical quests just like the heroes and heroines in books. That there could be an edge of danger to the real world in the form of warlords and evil wizards and witches. Reality is something to be tolerated for them, like the shabby clothes they have to wear everyday to look respectable. Really, they’d love to just chuck the whole thing and go magic full-time.

The Soul-Dreamers

Contrary to their name, soul dreamers are the most realistic of all three groups. You’re right, they say. It is a godless world. We’re just a ball of spinning rock twirling around a hot gaseous entity in the fathomless dark waters of a sea of other galaxies. We’re all going to die, and the chances of any of becoming filthy rich or soaring to the heights of stardom are negligible. Magic does not exist. We know, we know, they say, very patiently, very quietly.

Yet to them, reality is like being a grub stuffed in the slick encasing of a chrysalis, jostling and thrashing, waiting for the day when the darkness splits at its seams and light floods into the world and they unfurl and stretch their ragged wings as a glorious, glorious butterfly, all the while knowing it never will.

For these people, reality is an intolerable, interminable nightmare. No. Really.

It is being crammed in a tiny disappearing box and being abandoned by the grand magician, the only one who can finish the trick.

It is being frozen, open-mouthed, in a block of blue-white ice, while the world passes by heedless.

It is wanting to use your own blood to paint out the world.

You will not find these people reading biographies or non-fiction books. You will not find them watching Hollywood movies. You will not find them squealing over Harry Potter books. Instead, you will find them walking about with a weary look in their eyes, a shuffle to their steps. They may not meet your eyes, and wince at the roar of highways. Sometimes, looking at them, you wonder if they are all there. Frankly, they look a bit crazy.

For these people, reality is a death sentence. Reality plucks out their hearts, unravels their veins. And to stave off the pain of dying everyday, they resort to their imagination, to fiction, to books, to writing, to dreaming. These things are not places of delight and solace to be visited at the end of a long day. They read and imagine to catch a glimpse of the world they truly belong to. They read and imagine because if they did not, they would die. They clutch books to their hearts with the fervour of drowning men, as if wishing they could become one with the magic inscribed on the pages if only they hold on tight enough.

They are tiny, ethereal, glowing fairies trapped in lumpy, fleshy, rude human bodies, and they are lost and wandering, and wanting to go home.

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25 thoughts on “The Different Types Of Dreamers

  1. First of all, apparently I am an INTP, not an INFJ. It took much INTPish deliberation, but I determined it was the case. I just have influences that make me seem more Fe heavy, including HSP.

    But anyway, I don’t mean to lecture here – I just wanted to share this. First of all, you are very good at conveying your own personal feelings (compliments of strong Fi/Si), and it is clear that you identify best with the latter option on your list. I am always saddened when I read these kinds of posts from you. I feel like you’re missing out on stuff, and I guess from my perspective, you kind of are. You can take this or leave it – I won’t be offended – but all of the dreamers you mention are doomed for disappointment. There is nothing on this planet that is satisfactory. As a natural skeptic an inquirer, I’ve always found earth to just be depressing in the end and my HSP just makes me want to make it a slightly better place for other sensitive souls out there. But I’ll never help them all. And although I know it is good to help their bodies, isn’t it more important to help their souls? In time, bodies will deteriorate and organizations will be disbanded. Is it worthwhile to stock up on things that die? Or things that will leave, or be destroyed with time? Does being rich really make anyone happier? Would having magic really make things that much easier? And even so, will you ever get either? Sometimes these physical things are a gateway to better understanding, but everything is about the soul, because the soul does NOT die. So what else does not die? What can keep us company? Each other? Obviously not, if you look at the state of humanity. It’s only God. He doesn’t die – he is the everlasting God, or El Olam in Hebrew. Dreaming brings hope, an hope is good but it can be taken away. Action can bring faith, and faith is good but one day is unnecessary when you are confronted with the truth. It is only being with God that can last forever, and only he that can keep our souls from running empty. Everything else passes by, but he is steadfast. As a dreamer who struggles with keeping her thoughts tied to earth and a hope for a better future, I understand all too well the frustration of realizing things are not coming to fruition and may never change. But in the end, there really is hope, but only in an everlasting, loving God.

    So if that all just sounded silly to you, then you can ignore it, but I’d implore you to put some thought into it if you wish it were true.

    • Oh, nothing from you would ever sound silly! I understand where you are coming from. Many of the things you say are incredibly true. There really is nothing satisfactory in life, and money, fame, glory, bursts of glee or happiness, well, you’re right, they do mean nothing in the fullness of time. It’s all just showers of sparkly rain that pass, leaving us as dry and empty as before. Let’s see if I can put it into words properly. Sorry if this isn’t expressed very clearly. As an atheist (of course, I have nothing against your beliefs, and completely respect it), I do not believe there is a God. I think death is an absence of existence, like the emptiness before we were born. I know very well that disappointment is the end result for Soul-Dreamers. But I don’t think that we are doomed because of that. You’re right, if magic truly existed, it’d just be another tawdry sparkle, evanescent and easily gone. It would not make dreamers happy. But we are not doomed, because the point isn’t for our dreams of other worlds and magic to come true. The point is the dreaming itself. It was the yearning, the feeling that there is a magical world folded into the patch of space just around the corner, with magical creatures peering out at us. It is the possibility, the idea, the magic, the strangeness, the weirdness and the loveliness of those thoughts and concepts that create this dissatisfaction and disappointment, and yet, most dreamers would not want it any other way. Dreaming of magic is like nostalgia – a sort of blissful, bittersweet pain. I think that’s what keeps us dreaming and writing, living and creating. To constantly try our best to bridge the gap between reality and our dreams and failing, and yet delighting in the sweet failure of it, because we wouldn’t want it any other way, wouldn’t want magic to become the reality – it wouldn’t be magical anymore, if that happened. Sorry if this was confusing, and didn’t make a lot of sense.

      • I think I understand. Kind of like, how if I don’t tell my stories, then the characters will cease to exist when I do. Currently they are little universes inside of my head, with their own lives and whatever. I don’t consider myself as incredible as God and therefore unable to get into quite that level of detail (though dear lord, I do try – I feel like I need to know how the ocean currents and things would affect the map I just drew, and where things would be warmer and where things would be colder during an ice age, simply so I can figure out where civilization begins, how it spreads, how cultures and languages spread, and then I need to know how wars and things go, and then the earliest point in the story that I intend to get detailed about (like that isn’t just a story within the story), is 500 BC, and then I need to explain the next 4000 years after that in more detail, so I can get to the part of the story that ISN’T flashbacks T_T I have so much work to do!). But still, the world truly exists inside my head, in my opinion. So in a way, those characters are actually alive 😛 Makes me happy. I could go on as to why I disagree, but I don’t believe in arguing on the internet, and I feel like I’d end up taking an argumentative stance, which I don’t want to be THAT person.

        So anyway, I will try not to say anything more about it unless you ask 🙂 I just felt the need to inform you that it isn’t all sad and hopeless.

  2. I, too, am a soul-dreamer. An Atheist, and I hate to admit, quite the Misanthrope. Tired of television which is geared towards the Extraverts, tired of mainstream movies, especially action movies, also geared toward Extraverts. I’ll take a book and a quite room every time. I hate reality also. I was a very lonely child, not allowed to have friends unless they met with my Mother’s approval (therefore, I had no friends). All my life I have been involved in my own version of “cosplay”. I pretend to be someone else, it is my comfort zone, it is my fantasy world, it is MY reality, and it sure beats what’s out there. My husband is a day-dreamer, and I actually feel so bad for him. I imagine life is pretty boring…I mean after 18 years together, I can only imagine sex with me must be pretty dull. But, for me, it is always magical, because in my fantasy like-mind, we are always making love for the first time. The funny thing is I never fantasize he is anyone else, I always fantasize that I am someone else. This may sound strange or sad to other people, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I could never stand the doldrums of a “normal” life.

    • I am just like you. You might as well have described me. I feel like I know you, at least based on what you wrote. I’m an atheist, rather misanthropic, love solitude, hate reality, live on fantasy and imagination and creativity. I also hate mainstream television, and do not bother with it. There are some pretty neat foreign films out there though – nothing good comes out of Hollywood. I can’t stand the monotony, either! It’s why I escape. Reality is so last season. 😉 No, seriously. I’m sick of this left-brain, rational society. It makes me feel like a living creature stuck in a cog-and-wheel group of automatons. I’ll always dream along with you. Maybe there’s some metaphysical dreaming place, somewhere beyond the clouds, just for people like us. Filled with magic, and colour, and vivid imagery. And fairies, of course.

  3. That short paragraph on the Day-dreamer is an exact description of me. I do dream about existence, worlds beyond the universe, all these big big questions. But after pondering over these I find it quite tiring and because these questions are so big I feel it’s got little to do with me so naturally, I lose interest. Day dreaming about things closer to home is definitely more my thing, and I find it more stimulating. I don’t find life boring or monotonous as others may expect of a day-dreamer, every day reveals its own trials and triumphs and then living life is like a rollercoaster. I think if you dream things that you can relate to your own life, it’s more enjoyable. When I daydream I can create my own perfect future and that’s how I like it:) (I’m not sure if much of this made any sense…sorry:/)

    • That made complete sense. I wish I could reach through the computer screen and make you feel how much I understand. I really do. Sometimes, when I fall down the rabbit hole of pondering about the ‘big things’, this weariness steals over me, and I just can’t be bothered with thinking about it anymore. Questions of existence are bottomless – we can plumb them for eternities and never know the ‘answers’, maybe because we’re not asking the right questions, or there aren’t any answers. Maybe answers don’t even exist in that unknown realm of what we will never know. Who knows? I like fantasizing about real life, too. It’s closer, and warmer, and it gives you less of a headache. Just make sure to work towards creating the best future you can, and to not only daydream. Trust me, I realize how easy it is try and be satisfied with dreams, but unfortunately they are only stardust, and fade: only reality can give us true fulfillment in the end. Lots of love, fellow dreamer. Nevertheless, while you’re building your tangible future towers, don’t forget to still dream about castles in the sky. It’s fun, and a good exercise for your sparkly imagination.

      • Oh this is great! Thank you! I’m so glad to have found someone who finally gets me:) And you’re completely right, finding the balance between dreams and reality is the key.
        Also, I’ve been reading some of your other posts, your blog is amazing. I love your writing style, I really admire it! Keep it up:) xx I’m so grateful that I came across this blog on my internet travels.
        After taking a free version of the MBTI test (twice, just to be sure), I found out that I’m an INFP too. Perhaps it’s the reason I seem to be able to relate so well. I don’t think that there are many of us out there, especially us extreme INFPs.

      • Thank you. 🙂 Welcome. I’m glad you found this tiny scattered community of dreamers, thinkers, introverts and sensitives. It’s good to know you’re not alone. It’s wonderful.

  4. Hi dreamerrambling,

    You may not know but i have commented on you other blogs before, using a different identity. I was inspired by your gorgeous writing so I have decided to create my own blog too! Thank you sincerely.

    I think of life as a just a teeny, tiny thing. I don’t know if it makes any sense, but all the things we want to do in this life, all the things we want to achieve, all the things that seem like such a big deal right now, we’ll abandon to the grave anyway. People like to make such a big fuss over these things. They argue about all sorts of things that don’t matter, and end up making everyone unhappy. They are capable of doing anything they need to get what they want, for example wealth or social status. Then, they finally realize, on their death beds, that they have wasted their whole life chasing after things that don’t and have never mattered, and neglected those that matter the most–peace, love and happiness. Since we were given an oppurtunity to live, why can’t we live together in peace and love one another? We’d all enjoy this little life more.

    But since we are all still trapped in this imperfect world, I like to neglect reality and the bitter truth that I will never fit in this materialistic world. Perhaps it would be easier to fit in, but I comfort myself with the fact that I am not like these shallow people who may be superficially happy in this life, but never truely happy, for if we do have afterlife, I believe that the true ideals, in my opinion, are to love and be peaceful so that we may experience true joy, and not to be wealthy etc. So I like to believe that this life is merely a test, to see if we can stay true to the true ideals. My somewhat more realistic dreams is to meet my soul mate, a kindred spirit, who truely understands what I am going through, and is there for me in this life. I like to also dream of the perfect place we might live in, after we leave this world, free of war and corruption and greed and hatred and sadness and, ultimately all evil.

    I’m sorry if I didn’t make much sense, and if I rambled on way too long! You might not understand what I’m saying, but the main point of my comment was actually just to express my voice and really, thank you for inspiring me. Hang in there, even in the most depressing moments of your life, stay strong, because no one deserves to be treated like this, and always remember that you are never alone.

    • Thank you! I agree with everything you said. In fact, I’m just about to write a post about the bitter reality of this world in all its corrupted…not glory, but depravation. I’d love to check out your blog! Do you have a link?

  5. I just wanted to say thank you, I just float on everyday hoping that I don’t go over the waterfall. I fantasize a lot because I do find this reality boring and in need of a change. I have always looked at people and wondered how so many of them can take reality like it is and be happy with a boring life. I ask people about their life goals and they don’t have any and only look to tomorrow, I find this so sad.
    I needed this article because I spend so much time daydreaming about other worlds and how I can change this one that I run out of time in the day and that maybe I won’t get to a day that I can make what I see in my mind into a reality. this drives me crazier and crazier and gets me closer to the waterfall. everyday is a struggle. I can tell someone I am depressed and I know its not a chemical depression. it is nothing more than me being here while my mind is off in a wonderful place that I may not ever experience with my physical body. Just knowing that I am not crazy and not alone and that maybe all of this is actually a good thing helps a lot and maybe one day I will get to live out my dreams and not have them just in my head.

  6. love this blog, and i’m so happy i stumbled across it. Obviously, i’m an INFP so everything REALLY resonates with me. 🙂

    • I’m so glad my writing resonates with you. 🙂 Don’t feel too alone. There are 7 billion people on the planet struggling alongside you, and quite a few of them share your personality, quirks and are therefore going through similar problems, even if they aren’t making themselves heard.

  7. I almost don’t want to identify with the “Soul dreamer” label – the way you described it seems almost too melancholy for me. I think, however, that it’s a fairly accurate expression of my existence, sadly enough.

    I feel like I live life with reality sitting on the cusp of tolerability. At my best, I can exist on a day to day basis without too much overt melancholy – some might even say I’m a fairly happy person on those days. With even the slightest push, however, the flood gates open, and I remember that life is a meaningless, empty experience. I become instantly weary, and “tired” becomes my new catchphrase – I’m too “tired” to hang out, I’m too “tired” to think straight, just “tired.”
    My entire existence becomes tired, worn-out, and intolerable. I hate it more than anything – I wish that I could just find that glimmer of happiness in myself and hold onto it forever. I convince myself that I’m not the only one who experiences this sort of desolation – I look at other people and wonder how they must hate this, or hate that, or how they struggle in destitution every day, when in reality there really are not very many people like that. Everyone struggles with their own unique battles, but not like this – not in a vacuum of meaning and purpose that leaves you hoping ever so slightly for release, hoping that maybe, just maybe a miracle will save you, but knowing deep down that you never will be saved.

    Not in public though of course. There’s always the illusion of contentedness for that.

    The truly sad part, for me at least, is that the key to the gates often lies in the things that give me the most happiness, at least temporarily. For example, a game I recently played has probably given me more happiness than I’ve had in a while. It was a short and surprisingly sweet experience, and immensely enveloping. I was so happy to beat it, to love the characters and the environment, and to experience the magic of it all… and then it was over. Reality collapsed down on me as harshly as if my roof had physically fallen down upon my head, with perhaps the rest of the building following suit. And it hurt, it hurt so badly to feel the magic, to see it right there, almost feel that warmth and happiness, a sense of purpose and meaning, and knowing none of it is real and never has been, is, or would be. It hurt to even speak of it like it was a game – when I spoke to others it was like every word I said just acknowledged that it was never going to be real. All the hope in my heart screamed out against this reality in the hopes that maybe it’d convince my brain that, yes, there’s still hope, maybe one day against all odds I’ll be transported to a world and given a life worth living.

    My brain is too tired to believe that I suppose. It just tells me to keep on shuffling and drag myself along, and that eventually my heart will stop making so much racket and pick something more sensible to pine over.
    That, too, is honestly probably too hopeful.

    I tend to avoid things like this game, such as books, movies, etc… While they provide happiness, the overwhelming despair that follows crushes any happy feelings I had and just consumes my life. At the same time, however, a life without the happiness of these things is unbelievably boring, but I just cannot stand the follow-up. It’s, obviously, a problematic situation, but one that I will likely live with forever…

    I feel like I will always live like this, shuffling along with barely contained melancholy, false hope and self-delusion the only things propelling me forward in life until I finally die.

    It’s an awful, tiring way to live. But what else can be done?

    P.S. I realize this was very angsty and probably almost adolescent-sounding, but, hey, I just really, really needed to type out some of my thoughts and how I felt like your Soul Dreamer description fit me. It was doomed to be angst-filled from the start, heh.

    P.S.S. I’m currently getting my Master’s in Counseling Psychology. I’m probably not the best person for counseling others (psychology isn’t my passion, but then… nothing really is. It’s just another thing to do), but I hope I can find it in myself to endure it anyway. Perhaps even do a decent job.
    Just thought you might find it humorous (or irresponsible) that someone like myself would be a counselor, hah.

      • I’m usually affected by more immersive games/stories/etc, but oddly enough the game in question this time was the short little indie game Undertale.

        Pathetic, I know, but there was just something awfully genuine and lovely and magical about it. It made me very, very happy – and then, well, you know how I’m feeling now.

    • Not at all! As long as what you are doing is aligned with your heart (and only you can know if it is), then you can do no wrong, even when you fall down, make mistakes, and struggle. I understand the sense of regret and nostalgia that overwhelms you when you must leave a fantasy world and return to reality, in all its awfulness. But the way I see it is, why should I have to choose reality over fantasy just because the former is more persistent an illusion than the latter? Thus lately I have made a pact with myself to choose fantasy at all times, even if it makes me seem like a daydreaming, dopey cretin, lost in my own worlds, inside my own imagination, wherever I am. You could do the same. Bring a book with you wherever you go. Tell yourself stories. Reality does not have to be tolerated–it can, in fact, be banished entirely. At least that’s the way I see it. Though one should bear in mind that fantasy without a good dose of reality is not good fantasy at all–just silliness. Usually even the most fantastical worlds, even those within games, have a realistic element to it, whether it be “Energy” levels, or objects you must collect, paths you must take, to cross from one level to the next, just like in life. Lots of love. Take care. I understand you, completely and utterly–so very deeply I cannot even convey it through words. I live your everyday reality. We share the same reality. So, together, let’s paint over boring old reality and make it something colourful and exciting, even if only in our minds! You’ll be okay. 🙂

  8. “It is wanting to use your own blood to paint out the world.”
    Damn. Sometimes I get the feeling that all the world’s original quotes have already been said, but then I come across a new one, such as this!

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