(IThe above image is courtesy of Feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
It’s astounding, how much change can be wrought in two measly days.
After my last, self-pitying post, I sat down with myself and had a good think.
I read self-help articles on the internet, on overcoming feelings of worthlessness, on the Law of Attraction, on being a better human being, on loving myself. Thought some more. I spent time forcing myself to talk to people I normally would have be too afraid and anxious to approach. Stepped out of my comfort zone. I assessed my dreams, probed my own heart and mind and soul.
And, in a matter of two days, I felt more confident, more assured, happier, safer and more excited for my future. This time, I think it’s going to stay. I’ll be elaborating on these revelations on my other INFP blog (one of the recent posts has been inspired by my revelations these past few days), but here are a few things I’ve learnt during this journey into my soul the last forty-eight hours. Maybe it will help you. It did me. We all need to grow. No-one knows everything, even the wisest among us. It helped me to see the light, and you can’t imagine how good it feels.
1. You are worthy because you are alive.
2. It’s all about your mind – if you believe, and have faith in your dreams and yourself, you will get what you want.
3. You are beautiful. All it takes is to think this in the morning as you brush your teeth. Smile into the mirror. People always look prettier when they’re happy.
4. You came into this world with a unique set of talents, a unique worldview, and one of your responsibilities to humanity is to make use of those talents, hone your skills, and give everything you have got.
5. The universe wants to help you. If you truly, truly believe, and expect something will happen, and work hard towards achieving it, the universe will accede to your desires.
6. Don’t be needy, desperate, self-pitying. Doing those things is like trying to eat your own shadow – it gets you nowhere, and it only brings you more negativity. Instead, be loving, self-affirming, feel a vigor for existence and existing, and bubbly wonderfulness will come.
7. Especially don’t be desperate about finding romantic love. As an INFP, I’m naturally an intensely, intensely, INTENSELY romantic person. If you’re not an INFP, it might be a little difficult to imagine the vastness of such a longing, deep as the ocean, wide as the sky. Romance is my kryptonite. But the thing I’ve found is the more you cling to something, the more you’re desperate to have something, the more it eludes you. So, guess what? I’ve let go. And you should to. I put myself on a dose of reality, come to terms with the truths about love, and feel perfectly happy going solo, even for the rest of my life. If it does drop into my lap, then of course, I’ll be over the moon happy. But I won’t be desperate any longer. Romance is a gift, not a given.
8. Whatever that’s making you anxious, attack it, solve it, stop it from making you feel shitty any longer. For years, I struggled under crippling social anxiety, and though two days is hardly enough to completely rewire my brain, I’ve forced myself to talk to people and feel happier and more connected than ever. Hey: I’m not scared anymore! That makes me deliriously happy. My skin is better. I feel vitality rushing through my limbs, strong and springy and glowing. Do yourself a favor and clean out the anxieties and fears and obsessions (if you have any, and if you’re human, you probably do) that stain your brain.
9. I live in a first world country. I’m not starving any time soon, even if I have no money at all, and that makes me so, so lucky. I’m blown away with gratitude; I mean, think about it, you can pursue higher order thinking activities such as reading and writing only because your basic needs of survival are more or less taken care of.
10. Most people are nice. Or have some degree of niceness inside them. Not everyone is out to get you. Most of the people you regard with disdain or suspicion, creating dark characters using your own mind and imagination, are good people. I used to have a lot of trouble trusting people, and I believed so many people were inherently bad. They’re not. And if you talk to them, they’re more than happy to be friendly.
11. You’ve got to give to receive. Rather than wait around for someone to notice your melancholy, troubled soul, go out and make the first step in connecting with others. The more you give, whatever it may be – your words, your friendship – the more you will get. People remember.
12. The more painful something is to do (and I don’t mean something silly like sticking nails into your palm – I mean more of the psychological kind, like continuing writing or running even when you’re tired and feeling bloody awful and sick of the world), the more you MUST do it. Life is suffering, and pain. Only through getting to the hard bits can we achieve true joy and fulfillment.
13. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt. You’ll get hurt. That’s just a part of existence. But the rewards you can reap by risking getting hurt more than outweigh the possible pain. Confess to somebody. Get rejected. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter! Go out, get battered, come home, recover, go out again! Battle scars show you tried.
14. Try to understand the people you loathe. It’s easy to hate, but hate does nothing. Yes, some people are racist, some people are cruel, some people are monsters, but the only thing you can do is try and understand their thought process, comprehend their faults and shortcomings, maybe even face the selfishness and cruelty human beings, including you, are capable of, and not let them barricade you from achieving your dreams.
15. No-one can stop you. The universe loves you. NO-ONE can stop you.
16. You’re going to die. Just, whatever you have to do, DO IT.
17. Everyone has it hard, now and then. It’s about your attitude. We always feel alone in our suffering, but that’s not true – everyone who has a beating heart suffers. Keep your head up. Sure, positivity and negativity might not matter in the grand scheme of things, but isn’t the former better than the latter? Choose the better one. Choose the better one.
18. This is so important, I’m going to say it again: Believe. Have faith. Expect success, and you will get it. Only now do I realize how powerful our minds really are in shaping our realities – rather late, I know, but better than never.
19. You deserve good stuff. You deserve success, fulfillment, love, money. Look at you! You’re a wonderful human with your own unique arsenal of talents. You’re beautiful, brave strong, loving. You are worthy of happiness. Trust me on this. You are, you are, you are.
20. Make joy the centre of your life. Anything you do, make sure you’re happy doing it. Enjoy it. Love. And sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to, like sit in a dull classroom, or wash dishes, but you can find nuggets of joy and beauty even those situations. You can sing while you wash the dishes, twiddle the plate so that the water flows in an aesthetically pleasing manner over the rim, make it a dance. When you’re bored, ask questions, or make up stuff in your head, or brainstorm ideas. Something. Anything. BE JOYFUL. It’s the only way to live.
Whew. That’s all for now. A lot of these are clichéd aphorisms I theoretically knew, and understood, but did not properly absorb. Now go out there and laugh and dream and live and love.