What Makes This INFP Mad

Sad Social injustice. When people trample on the underdogs. When people feel superior towards other people for no other reason than their looks, race, sexuality, etc. Today, I was on the bus when a woman dropped the lid on her Thermos. It rolled to a stop behind a man’s seat. The woman was Caucasian, wearing a business suit, eating McDonalds, hair teased up in a high, blond ponytail. An aura of superiority radiated from her like sickly perfume: the way she tossed her hair over her shoulder, lifted her chin, sat perched on her seat like she was the only peacock among a bus full of lowly pigeons. Another woman, old and clearly an immigrant, slightly hunched and Asian, bent down to help her pick up the lid. Out of the kindness of her heart. The other woman promptly dove down to snatch the lid right before the older woman could touch it, without a single word of thanks, as if she were afraid to get any of her grubby fingerprints on it. Her cherry-red lips were twisted in disdain. And this happened in Australia. In 2014. All I regret is not speaking up. That’s a big problem of mine: I tend to just sit there and seethe on injustices, like a boiling kettle with its spout plugged up. Anyway. That kind of stuff makes me really angry. Crazy, red, world-shifting rage. I don’t discriminate against anyone, and I try to believe in the goodness of all human beings, but oh boy, this incident on the bus got my blood simmering. I know most Caucasians are not like that (I did grow up in Australia) but this woman was just…ugh. The disgusting, disgusting airs she put on herself. And you know what the sad thing is? She’ll probably go on to be happy and rich and successful, safe in her privilege. Just remember (though the people who read my blog are all lovely, kind creatures, so this probably isn’t really getting the message out there to the right people): People are more than their looks. They’re more than their background. More than their language, their culture, their clothing. Look for the soul. You’re not better than anyone. Everyone is equal. We’re all human. HUMAN. Respect. Kindness. Is it so hard? Is evil real? Or is it just ignorance? Once, I encountered a racist and bigoted classmate who declaimed against all immigrants entering the country. I told him that technically, we’re all immigrants, and that my parents were immigrants, so…did think I should just get kicked out of the country? He then said that I was ”okay” because I sounded and acted Australian. Who determines what is “okay”? No-one has the right to do that. Double standards make me sick. Gah. People like that just make me so angry. And sad. Like I want to yell and cry at the same time, but I eventually only end up making up comebacks in my head after the situation, and staring angrily into mirrors with my lips pressed into a hard, angry line. That Asian woman could have well been my own mother. I’m pretty sure I’m on my way towards evolving from an idealist into a cynic.

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9 thoughts on “What Makes This INFP Mad

  1. Pingback: [INFP] What makes INFPs angry? - Page 10

  2. I too seem to see injustices everywhere I look. However, the older I get, the more I blurt… I am no longer as silent about them as I once was. I’ve started to speak my mind and suffer whatever consequences that may follow… It’s worth it… Great post. I wish the world would read it…

      • I’m an INFP who is about to become an immigration attorney for immigrants. Thank you for precisely reminding me of exactly who I am. You are my inspiration today. . . . and now I’m beginning to cry just a little bit. . . . back to studying for the bar exam, which is otherwise so painful (tons of memorization of minutiae, an INFP’s hell). Thanks for helping me push through. Love and respect to you, my kindred spirit. Thanks for writing and sharing. You never know who will be touched.

      • Oh, I think that’s an absolutely wonderful, caring career. Thank you, I am so, so happy I helped you in some way, you can’t imagine. Lots of love, and I wish you the joy of helping others. Thank you for reading. Oh, you just turned my entire day around, and made me smile. I love, love fellow INFPs. What would we do, without each other? I definitely know how painful memorization is. My brain does not work that way: it absorbs information playfully, spontaneously, not forced down my gullet, grain by grain. But, as it is necessary, I think that you should try and make it a little fun, using your creativity (pretend you are working on a case, using a family member as a prop?) and reminding yourself of all the people whose lives you will positively impact; the tests and the suffering they entail will pass, but your impact will be forever.

  3. Don’t give up. As an HSP, I understand your pain about this. I was definitely one of the kids who got picked on in elementary school (lol I was an angry child) and it hurts me to see others get hurt, but also to see those who hurt. I know why I’ve ever hurt people was only because I lacked something. I had felt criticized, or like something was taken away from me and I had to fight to get it back. Or I had felt judged and wanted to be above reproach. I felt abandoned and so found other ways to keep myself occupied and forgot to connect with the human race. All kinds of things can cause a person to hurt another person, but hurt is a cyclical thing, as you know, I’m sure.

    It truly is ignorance and the only way to break the cycle of pain is to keep fighting it. The fact that you recognize it makes it more painful to see, but its the only way to make any effort to stop it, too. If you have an opportunity to not be oblivious to such things, then its your responsibility to oppose that and be kind in any way you can 🙂 (though don’t overwhelm yourself)

    • Thank you so much for the encouragement, as well! I am going to speak up the next time I see anything like that happen, even though it goes against my natural passive-aggressive tendencies. You’re completely right. Thank you.

  4. Exactly – we are all immigrants in one sense of another. Our ancestors were all hunting on what is now the African savannas thousands of years ago. There is a definite link between this kind of racism / xenophobia and abject stupidity. Good for you for speaking up.

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