Random Person: Why are you smiling?
Me: What? Oh. I just thought of something funny.
Random Person: Care to share?
Me: No. It’s an inside joke.
Random Person: Oh. With whom?
Me: As in, you know, inside my head.
Random Person: Ah.
Friend: You do realise that there’s a shortcut, right?
Me: (fascinated) Really?
Friend: Yes. It’s right next to the main road. Like, right next to it. In plain view. People go down that way all the time.
Friend: You’ve been walking this way for seven years.
Me: I know, I can’t believe I never noticed it before! Isn’t this exciting! It’s like discovering a secret pathway to some other world.
Friend: (shakes head)
Concerned relative: Um. Are you taking all of that?
Me: (throws a couple more books for luck into the suitcase) Yep!
Concerned relative: (eyes the mound of books) You do realise it’s only a three day trip, right?
Extremely concerned relative: You’re not going to have any room left for clothes, or toiletries, or anything.
Me: I shall stitch together clothes out of the pages of books. Like the Paper Bag Princess. Is there anything better than readable clothing? I think not.
Me: He is my soul mate.
Friend: You don’t even know him.
Me: I have read the constellations in his eyes, and deciphered the galaxies of his heart. We are star-crossed lovers, destined to be as one in this lifetime.
Friend: (verging on hysterical exasperation) You’ve never even talked to him!
Me: (places a finger to her lips) Shh. Words are not needed when the heart has spoken, my dear.
Friend: Okay. Fine. So he’s your soul mate. When, exactly, are you going to have a conversation with him? You are going to have eventually, you know.
Me: (sighs dreamily) One day. When the stars align.
Friend: So, never, then.
Me: That is the most exquisite bird I have ever seen. Have you seen a more exquisite bird in your lifetime?