Lonely

crescent moon

It is evening.

And I am lonely.

The lights are on in the city outside my window, twinkling like earthbound stars, and above them hangs the thumbnail moon, a strange celestial carrot on a string, thin and white and forever out of reach.

Is everyone this lonely, come evening time? Come night?

I do not know. I want to both cry and scream, at the same time; instead, I remain silent.

And later, I will sleep.

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9 thoughts on “Lonely

  1. Loneliness is a cry in the night. Not in fear of the predator but in fear of having to wait for the predator on your own. Everyone fears the predator, everyone is lonely. Company is all that makes the waiting bearable.

    • Indeed. Indeed. That was beautiful. But I feel myself trapped in my own mind – that no matter how close I get to another person, it is not enough, and at the close of the day, I am alone, paralysed in Wondering and searching for Something.

      • Is it some thing you search for? Is truth a thing? Life does not get better or worse, it is always what this very moment presents us. Acceptance is often the stance of the victor. Make a plan, they carry us through to where we want to be. There is no goal except what we desire, there is no accomplishment except that we plan. Put some bandaids on it, buck up buttercup, figure out what you’re looking for. Go kick some rocks over looking for it if you have to. Sitting home waiting for it to be delivered would invalidate the terms of service for Amazon.

      • You’re completely right. Thank you for writing that and sharing your wisdom. And yes, there are some things I am searching for – I think everyone is secretly chasing something in their hearts which spurs them to get up in the morning. Depressed people often speak of not being able to see a future, a state no human being can live in for too long. It is our hopes, and our dreams, that keep us going and shine a light on the path ahead of us even when the woods are dark.

        I like your sense of humor. 😀

  2. I was feeling this way the other night. Sometimes daytime seems like a dream state that all humans willingly enter to be together. Night strips us down to reality. We open our eyes, look around, and we see we are alone. The mind is a lonely place because it can never be completely mapped by an outsider no matter how well they know us – there is always a nighttime space where daylight cannot reach.

    • Your words are beautiful! And utterly true. It is at times like these that I wish I was not human, that something or someone would hold me close and keep me safe forever – even if security is an illusion, and the only certainty our present reality.

  3. I believe it was Steinbeck who said that in utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable. What else is there to say, really?

    • That is a beautiful and true quote. It makes me feel less lonely, knowing that everyone throughout history has experienced loneliness in some form, even if some more than others. Sometimes I wish I was not human. Thank you for sharing it. And I’m so sorry about the whole Skype thing; I did try to contact you several times, but each time they said the call failed, which is supremely irritating. At least we can still contact through email, if you want. Lots of love. I hope you are okay. ❤

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