Send Me A Miracle

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Lately, because I’ve been so bored with life, I’ve started praying to God for a miracle. Now, while I don’t entirely believe God exists, some part of me believes He does, and that was the part of me that was praying to Him these past couple of days. I wanted a miracle. No, I didn’t want Noah’s Ark to come trundling up to my front doorstep or anything like that; what I wanted was for something interesting and out of the ordinary to happen to me, just to break up the monotony of the days a little.

Isn’t that what we all want? To win a million dollars, accidentally meet a handsome stranger on the street, or land a book deal? A miracle? An ordinary but extra-ordinary happenstance? Incidentally, while I was praying, I did receive a miracle of a kind—there came a rumble of thunder from outside, signaling the arrival of a storm, though a natural miracle, while there are plenty of those in my life, wasn’t exactly what I was asking for. Because, at the end of the day, to be honest with you, as someone whose studies haven’t started and whose friendships mostly exist on the Internet, and especially since my fiction writing has taken a nosedive, I have become supremely bored with life. To give you an idea of how bored I am, writing these blog posts is the sole thing I have to truly occupy myself during the day. For the rest of the time, I visit the library, go grocery shopping, clean and prepare meals—and that’s basically it. Before writing this, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, facing another day with nothing very much to do, which is why I decided to pray for a miracle, for something to break up the boredom, for a good solid ten minutes. These past few weeks have really made me aware just how much money is needed if you want to have some fun in this life, to go on holidays and purchase delicious food, or even to fund a little shopping spree. Without money, and work, life becomes a treadmill at a standstill, a photograph instead of a movie. I have neither of these at the moment—I’m not studying, and I have very little spending money, as well as few friends—so I’m left to my own devices for most days,  and my own company, I have found, isn’t always the best there is to be had.

I wish for things, so many things. I wish I lived in a nice house I owned, with wardrobes filled with beautiful clothes. I wish I had many friends, so I could invite them all to my house for dinner parties and other occasions. I wish I had the money to go on holidays, and trips, and to eat out at fancy restaurants. I wish I had a job that earned a good income and which I enjoyed. I wish—I wish—I wish—But these are all wishes, and while I am sure they will come true eventually, even when they do come true, I’m certain I would be bored of them, and have another whole different set of wishes to go with my boredom. Everything gets boring after a while, that’s the problem, no matter how charmed or un-charmed the life. Variety is what truly matters, and to have a variety of experiences, you have to go out and seek them, and often doing so, such as going to new places, requires a fair bit of money which I simply do not have right now. Ah, well. One must be content with the simple things in life; at the very least I am not living in a war-torn country,, or dying of thirst or starvation. But that doesn’t make it entirely better, because sometimes I feel as though I very well would rather die than suffer another moment’s worth of boredom again.

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4 thoughts on “Send Me A Miracle

  1. I’ve been rather bored with my life at times also, it’s the repetitive routines and repetitive thoughts/emotions that I keep experiencing that leads me to feeling this way. I’ve experienced both working a fulltime job and being at home regularly. You’re right about variety, it doesn’t necessarily matter what your particular situation is, if something is repeated on a cycle without much joy, life gets boring.

    I don’t want to put any pressure on you at all as I know you have anxiety (so do I), but I’m up for meeting sometime if you feel like it. I live in Sydney too and I feel like we have so much in common. I don’t have many friends either and I suppose, I wouldn’t mind some. I don’t often reach out to people, and have refrained from doing so for a while. Like I said though, no pressure. I don’t mind talking on here. I just thought I would put this out there should you ever wish to talk in person with someone who shares a very similar temperament.

    • Sure, I’d love to meet up, though, like you say, I do (or we both) do have social anxiety, and meeting someone in real life from across the internet in a public setting isn’t something that makes me feel completely calm. I’ll think about it, if that’s okay; I’m sorry, I’m just a very introverted and anxious person when it comes to these things. I hope you can understand, and if you really need someone to talk to, email me and I’m sure we can arrange something. ❤

      • Hey, that’s fine, I can understand. I too am introverted with SA. Perhaps it would make you feel a little bit more comfortable if you knew more about me. I’ll email you sometime this week, I’m reluctant to share my personal details in public via a blog.

      • Sure, go ahead. 🙂 Hope to hear from you soon (though please do not be alarmed if I do not reply right away; I’, notoriously bad at checking my email and I do get quite a few of them).

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