10 Inexpensive INFP Christmas Gift Ideas

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Well, folks, Christmas is just around the corner, and while I’m a huge fan of the Christmas season, and of celebrating the birth of Jesus, our saviour and pretty much the kindest and most wonderful person to walk the Earth, I do tend to have quite a bit of trouble coming up with gift ideas for other people, because it’s sometimes hard to know exactly what to purchase others within the constraints of your budget. However, I always know what to gift myself and other INFPs, so I thought I’d cultivate a list of creative, handmade gifts you can give to the INFPs in your life for the festive season which will definitely quite delight them. I’ll skip the obvious items, such as books or movies, and try to come up with some more unique ideas, as per INFP style. Here we go!

  1. Wishes in Bottles.

Okay, so at certain craft stores, or online, you can find these small, glass corked bottles or vials, kind of like magical “potion” bottles, and to turn them into a gift, you just fill them up with small trinkets like beads, tiny cake decorations, sequins and glitter, then slip a small, curled-up note inside it for the receiver to write their wish on and then put back inside the bottle if to be “sent” and “granted”. Trust me, INFPs love tiny, adorable things, as well as anything whimsical or fun like this, so it’d make the perfect inexpensive gift.

  1. Make your own Christmas-themed plushies.

All you need is some fabric, of various colours and patterns, depending on your choice, some pretty buttons, needle and thread, and pillow stuffing. Cut out templates of the type of Christmas-themed object you’d like to create, such as a reindeer or a Christmas tree, stitch them together, fill them with pillow stuffing, decorate with buttons and more stitching for things like eyes and tinsel, and you have yourself a sweet, beautiful handmade gift to slip inside stockings for Christmas. To make this even better, you could even cram the empty “plushies” with lavender or other herbs, to make a kind of long-lasting herb plushie!

  1. A Santa Claus’s Good or Bad Wishlist.

Here’s an idea. You could discolour a large piece of paper using coffee (just cover the paper in cover so all of it is stained and bake it in the oven for a little while) so that it looks like a piece of old parchment, and then, using a paintbrush and black paint, or even a black marker, write down a list of children’s names, and “good” or “bad” right next to them. For every good child’s name, next to the word “good” you can stick, using tape (I recommend using special, Christmas-themed tape that you can find at a crafts store or 2-dollar shop for a couple of dollars), a “good” present, like a tiny lolly (or, if you want to get fancy, a sterling silver charm), and next to each bad child’s name, you just stick something you wouldn’t ever want to gift someone, like a small, ordinary rock from the ground outside the house or a tiny bag of sand.

  1. Make your own advent calendar.

Depending on the type of calendar it is, advent calendars can be jolly expensive, so I would recommend making your own! All you have to do is get some fabric, any old fabric, cut it into one big, square piece (that’ll be your calendar), and, for the doors, stitch on squares of fabric, 12 in all, 4 or 3 in a row. Make sure you leave the top of each square of fabric open, because you’ll need to fill the “pockets” with lots of tiny goodies for them to find in the days leading up to Christmas, or, if you want to get real fancy, you can stitch buttons to the fabric squares along the top or right sides and make buttonholes behind them, so you can “close” the squares by pushing the buttons through the buttonholes! Then stitch on the numbers onto each square piece of fabric and fill them up! I recommend putting things in it like a ring, or a pair of earrings, some lollies, chocolates, some fancy beads, figurines, (you could even put in a very small Wishes in Bottles!), pins, tiny candles, and anything else small and inexpensive you can find in the shops for under $10!

  1. Make miniature books.

I know I said I wouldn’t put any books on this list, but these aren’t actual books, they’re tiny, cute books perfect for the holiday season! All you need is some Christmas-themed fabric that’s quite tough, like jeans fabric or felt, and some paper and strong glue. Cut and fold a white piece of paper until you have an accordian-like long piece of paper, which will be your pages, and cut the tough fabric into a rectangular piece that will form the back and front of the book. Then, paste the paper, which will be the “pages” of your book, onto the long, rectangular piece of fabric, making sure you cut everything to size at the end, especially the “covers” of the book. Here’s a tutorial I found on the internet for it, but there are many others as well: Christmas Tutorial . They’re such fun, especially if you write tiny things inside the book, like messages and what not. INFPs will love it!

  1. “Milk and Cookies”.

Okay, so here’s something a little unconventional, but that’s a good thing, because INFPs love interesting and creative gifts! Instead of filling up a glass with milk, fill it up with PVA glue (you have to do this just before giving them the gift, because otherwise the glue will harden!) so that it looks like it’s full of milk, and set it aside. Next, get some brown cardboard and cut it into circles to resemble cookies, and colour, using a brown texta or marker, some dots on them to resemble chocolate chips. Place the “cookies” next to the glass of “milk”. Invite your INFP friend to dip the cardboard cookies into the PVA glue milk, and have on hand a variety of sequins and buttons with which to decorate the “cookies” after which you can punch holes in them, attach them to ribbons, and turn them into Christmas tree decorations!

  1. Reindeer antlers.

This idea is quite simple. Using brown or glittery coloured chenille sticks (which are like bendable, fluffy thin sticks of wire), sculpt and bend them into pairs of reindeer antlers. Next, using felt, make round, red reindeer noses. Then, just attach them to whatever you like using tape! You can attach them to the back of chairs, to bedposts, to computer monitors, whatever—and if you deck the entire house in reindeer ears, I’m sure your INFP will find it extremely funny, amusing and beautiful.

  1.  Snowman in a jar.

    You can create your own edible winter wonderland inside a glass jar, any glass jar, for only a small amount of money. All you’ll need is some milk or dark chocolate, coconut sprinkles, some marshmallows of different sizes, pretzel sticks, icing sugar and some orange gummy worms. First, lay the bottom of the jar with a fine layer of coconut; this’ll be your “snow”. Next, using some melted chocolate, stick a large marshmallow onto the snow at the bottom of the jar. Stick some pretzel sticks to form the “arms” of the snowman on either side of a smaller marshmallow and stick that using melted chocolate on top of the first marshmallow, then draw a face on and cut a carrot-shape out of an orange gummy worm and stick it on the smallest marshmallow, which will form the “head” of the snowman. Sprinkle some icing sugar on top of the completed snowman, then put on the lid, and there you have it, your own edible winter wonderland scene. INFPs will definitely appreciate the creativity of such a gift!

    9.  A Christmas teddy bear.

Jazz up an ordinary, small and inexpensive teddy bear in Christmas clothes by stitching your own Santa hat, tiny red top, a red scarf, red pants and small, red boots. While this might sound difficult, it actually really isn’t: you just need to sew together two pieces of a shirt, two pieces of a Santa hat, four pieces of both sides of a pair of felt boots, and two sides of a pants together, preferably using red or festive green thread. There are lots of blueprints online for making small clothes for teddy bears, but with just a needle and thread, some red fabric, and some experimentation and creativity, you should be able to make your INFP’s favourite teddy bear a nice little Christmas outfit, and return Mr Brown back to them in the perfect get-up for the holidays (PS: It’s a good idea to throw in something a little extra, like a felt candy cane for the bear to hold or a brown sack filled with tiny presents—let your imagination run wild!).

  1.  A Christmas make-over.

No, I’m not talking about buying an INFP a Christmas outfit, a red-and-gold festive manicure and a full face of make-up: I’m talking about taking one of their favourite objects, and giving it a Christmas makeover, like their phone case, their favourite drink bottle, or even a glasses case that they use often. You don’t need to go all out for this: just buy some fancy-looking Christmas stickers from the crafts store at $5-8 dollars a sheet, attach them to the object you have chosen, cover them in clear nail polish so they’ll stay glued onto it for longer and won’t wear out, tie a ribbon around it and add a sprig of mistletoe and you’re good to go!

 

I hope you enjoyed some of these creative ideas for this Christmas, and that the INFP in your life enjoys them, whoever they are. Also, these ideas, while they were designed for INFPs, with their ingenuity and creativeness, can honestly be used to give gifts to anyone this Christmas. The festive month is just around the corner, and I’ve been decorating my own home, getting gifts ready, setting out candles, sticking Christmas-themed decorations on the fridge, filling glass bowls with red and green candy, changing the theme of my phone to a Christmasy one and downloaded an app so it plays Christmas music whenever I turn on the screen, and, if you can’t tell, I simply can’t wait for grand day to come! Happy gift-making!

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An INFP’s Character Development

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In every book and story—or at least every good one—a character develops and changes over time, and this is good because it’s realistic: in real life, everyone changes from day to day; who I am on Monday might not be the same person you greet on Tuesday, because I’ve learned things and grown a little, and that means my worldview and how I interact with myself, other people and society has changed. However, in books, the character development is usually more marked, because the point of the book is for the character to learn about something as she or he goes about his journey, and without this development, the story would seem a little strange and pointless, as if it shouldn’t have occurred at all.

This got me thinking about an INFP’s “character development” over time; in other words, how a person of the INFP personality might change over the course of their life, in accordance with their personal traits and characteristics. It would be different for every type: but since there are unique traits, like introversion and a mind prone to daydreaming, which all INFPs share, our character developments should, I think, sometimes follow the same trajectory.

First, let’s go all the way back to our infanthood. I think INFPs would be quite intelligent babies, because we end up growing up into rather intelligent people, and be prone to sleeping less than other babies and being more engaged and explorative of the world around them. Once childhood hits, and walking and talking enter the picture, in the home sphere, we’re likely to be quite chatty and active, because we’re comfortable with our family members, while outside the home, we’d be prone to stranger-aversion and quite touchy about being with people we don’t know.

Childcare would be another kettle of fish. That’s where our introversion would truly come out to shine, because we’d definitely be the kid that sits quietly playing with puzzles by ourselves or dress-ups with that one other friend, completely absorbed in our tasks, in an almost autistic fashion, because we’re good at concentration, creative, bright and love having the ability to let our imaginations run wild. Socialisation with other kids who aren’t quiet and strange like us will be non-existent, if there at all. We just don’t get along with other people at this point, and are closest to our own fantasy worlds and the odd friend, imaginary or not.

Primary school, or middle school, if you live in America, would be another playing field. Here, we finally begin to learn the ropes of socialisation and our character undergoes a metamorphosis, where we don’t just isolate ourselves and learn to interact with people for the sake of following social norms and because being an outcast is a hard, lonely life to lead. However, we’re still at the stage where we’re not capable of making genuine, real human relationships, because everything we do or say is “copied” or “learnt” from others: we haven’t got the hang of socialisation and have decided the best way to make friends and get along with other people is to put on a mask, talk a lot, and pretend you’re happy. Thus begins the unhappy stage of an INFP’s character development, where we feel stifled in a society that doesn’t accept us for the daydreaming introverts we are, and while we read and borrow books at a frenetic pace, expressing our individuality through our imagination and creativity in private, in public, we still go along with the crowd and do what everyone else does, for fear of rocking the boat.

Then there’s high school. Oh boy. Here’s where problems really start t to begin: puberty plus a cocktail of social anxiety means the INFP is bound to run into trouble, and plenty of it, either in the form of bullying, depression or feeling like an outcast. Because they’re intelligent, they’ll often do well in school and be considered a “nerd”, and much of their time, when not pretending to be happy and fit in—a continuation of their primary school years—is spent reading by themselves in the library or bathroom cubicles, where they can escape from the world and other people. More likely than not, they’ll not see certain boys or girls as real people but princesses and princes on pedestals and fantasise about them from afar, while believing themselves to be ugly, socially awkward and wretched. At this point in an INFP’s character development, they’ve most likely reached their ultimate “low”, where they feel like the worst possible version of themselves, both inside and on the outside, and are painfully awkward and cringe every day at their own awkwardness, and feel like life is an endless, dark tunnel they can’t seem to get out of.

Then comes adulthood. Free from the constraints of high school gossip and bullying, with the Internet at their fingertips and several hundred books of knowledge at the back of their mind, INFPs begin to come into their own, slowly at first, but gradually faster, as they realise the world outside the education system isn’t a bad place for dreamers—in fact, it’s the dreamers, creators and creative types of the world who are often the most successful and happy. Of course, the INFP goes through ups and downs, but eventually, they find an inner confidence as the progress through adulthood they didn’t possess before, mainly due to understanding themselves and learning more about life and the world, and realise who they are, someone who delights in the strange and magical, who loves Christmas like children and fawns over sparkles and glitter, and would never hesitate to help someone who is suffering, is a beautiful person, through and through. It is to be expected that INFPs still carry a backlog of pain from their early years, but this soon fades, as they discover their passions and grow into themselves, ready to sally forth into the world full of imagination and creativity, and being the best possible version of themselves they can be, each and every day.

An INFP’s Latest Discoveries & Reflection On Jealous People

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I’ve discovered quite a few things lately, all of them the kind that would very much appeal to INFPs, so I thought I’d share them with you.

One of them is a search engine called “Ecosia”, which turns your searches into trees! Literally! Every time you search for something using this search engine, you help to plant trees in places like Africa and the plains of Asia, with 45 searches equivalent to one tree planted. It’s very easy to download, it acts just like Google or Bing or any other search engine, the only difference being your searches end up helping the environment and rebuilding the world’s forests! It’s so amazing, I’ve been using it for a while now, and I’ve racked up, on my phone and on my desktop, about 1500 searches so far, and as the years go by, I’m sure I’ll “earn” more trees and help the environment by doing my bit! So can you! And so far, Ecosia has already planted 41, 132, 323 trees at the time of my writing this piece, so go ahead and add to that number, which is growing everyday, for a brighter and better future for Earth, our beloved planet.

Another discovery I’ve made is an orchestral musician named Michael Ghelfi. Here is a link to his work: you can find him easily enough on Youtube, and it’s a shame he doesn’t have more views and subscribers, because his music, much of which is “steampunk-themed” is absolutely gorgeous, stunning, amazing and fantastic. It’s whimsical and pretty, sweet and complex, and evokes emotions, scenes and worlds through its notes and tunes and accompaniments. If I ever wrote a Steampunk book, and it had the good fortune of being turned into an actual film, I would seek him out right away to ask him to write the score for the film. Just, check him out: you won’t regret it.

One more discovery: the song “Wanderer’s Lullaby” by the Youtube singer Adrisaurus, which is almost a kind of motivational song wrapped up in melancholy and sweetness, is about believing in yourself in spite of the world and other people. I think that’s something everyone, on some level, can relate to, because we’ve all had our dreams doubted by someone, we’ve all encountered jealous people, no matter how fortunate their lives might be compared to ours in the first place, and we’ve all, deep down, doubted ourselves and our ability to achieve our dreams. This song is absolutely perfect for all of us who are striving towards a castle in the sky, out of reach, only accessible if we somehow build a jeweled floating sleigh or capture a pegasus; and it gives you strength and hope to fight another day.

I’ve been burned many times. This is no understatement. I’ve been burned, again and again, by other people in my life, people who I believed wanted the best for me or liked me, when in reality, they harboured secret jealousies and hatreds. When I was younger, I was too confused and naive to fight back. As I’ve grown older, I’ve also become a little tougher, and it’s a little harder to cross my path these days, because I’m not afraid to speak my mind, speak back, and tell you if you’re not treating me right or are a toxic influence in my life. I’m not afraid to get out the knife, and cut the gangrenous limb right off, with or without anaethesia, with my teeth gritted and sweat on my brow. I only wish I had that kind of courage in my younger years, that I hadn’t been brainwashed into being a meek, cowardly creature by the people who raised me.

There are people in this world who do not want to see you succeed. In fact, their idea of their dreams coming true is to see you fall, stumble, fall flat on your face and never get back up again. They want to see you in the dirt, and to put a foot on your head, and laugh like a maniacal, evil villain in some story. Let’s get this straight: they would be happy if you died, or were even murdered, and your dreams died with you. Make no mistake as to how evil or bad some humans can be, because I have lifted the rocks of humanity and seen the bugs and creepy-crawlies that writhe on its underbelly. I have met them, talked with them, laughed with them, been in their company and their homes and eaten their food. They are like monsters in angels’ garbs. They have different faces, and come in all shapes and sizes: friends, family, loved ones, teachers, mentors; you name it, they can hate you and dislike your ambition and desire for success, because it highlights their own failure and lack of success. Darkness doesn’t just resent light: it loathes it, with all of its being. That’s because it knows light is something pure and wonderful that it can never be, and so it hates it with all its heart.

You need to shine in spite of the darkness. I know it’s hard. These people, these influences, can be brutal. They can even come in the form of someone you love romantically—you’d be surprised—which makes it doubly difficult to brush them off. In some people’s eyes, life is a competition, and they want to be the one on top. What they don’t realise is that the true queens and kings of this world don’t murder, scheme and kill to get to the throne, but are chosen by the people, and because they have something special inside of them which makes them shine a little brighter than most. Kindness. Love. Courage. Faith. Belief. Heart.

“Wanderer’s Lullaby” reminds you that who you are is worthy. You and I, we are worthy; and anyone who tells you you aren’t worthy can go (insert expletive starting with “f”) themselves, because they’re not worth bothering about. Light is useless if it doesn’t learn to increase its brightness around darkness, otherwise the darkness will swallow it whole and be very satisfied, like a cat that has eaten the canary. No, you must shine brighter and brighter, bright enough to blind them; and then, they’ll leave you alone, because if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that those who put you down are the most cowardly and disconnected from life and themselves, or otherwise they’d be chasing their own dreams, and living their own lives, instead of spending all their time hating you and your bright, sparkling eyes, and trying to bring you down to their level.

What This INFP Thinks About Money

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I’m in a funny mood today, the kind of mood where I wish something magical and exciting would happen, right on my doorstep, so that I can be blasted out of my everyday, humdrum existence. 

I’ve been posting on this blog of mine a little more often lately, partly because I’ve been inspired more often, but also because I have decided to treat blogging like a second job. While it doesn’t exactly bring in an income, I have received a small sum of money over time through my Patreon page, certainly not enough to live on, but enough to buy some food for a couple of days, and I am so grateful to those who took the time and effort to donate and help me out. That doesn’t mean that I’ll love you more just because you donate to me—I adore all of my readers equally—but I must admit, having that extra cash meant I felt as though my writing and the extraneous services I provide had some sort of monetary value in this world, no matter how little.

Obviously, blogging isn’t a full-time job for me—in fact, it’s not even a part-time job. I researched my blog online, on one of those calculate-your-blog’s-net-worth-site’s, and I found my blog was valued at around $200, which, in the grand scheme of things, is quite a pittance, especially for the hours of work and effort I’ve poured into maintaining it, the time I’ve spent conjuring up blog ideas and then sitting at my desk, typing out the words one by one, sometimes easily, sometimes excruciatingly. But, thankfully, I got into blogging for the love of it, and somehow, I kept it up, 6 or so years have passed, I have met hundreds of wonderful people through this blog, and enjoyed every single minute of it, and that’s something no money in the world can ever buy.

In the past, I wouldn’t have dreamed of mentioning money when it comes to writing or art—at the tender age of 16 or 17, I would have scoffed at you, and stated that art, or writing, or creative pursuits, have a value no money in the world could ever purchase. I was wrong. Now, at 21, I’ve grown up a bit, and realised the power of and meaning behind money. Money, in a way, creates a concrete system whereby we determine what has value in society. Only if we value something very deeply or need something completely are we able to part with money in exchange for it. For instance, if I had to choose between buying books or buying food, in the past, I would have boasted about how I would buy books instead of food, because that’s how “committed” I am to the world of art. Nonsense. If I’m starving, and I have experienced being hungry a couple of times over the past 4 years of my life, simply because after rent and electricity sometimes there isn’t enough money left over for enough food, I am bound to choose food over books, no matter how important art is for me, because if I’m starving, I don’t have the concentration to read the books anyway, and if I’m dead, what use are books to me?

Money is highly important. It’s why the entertainment and book industry always suffers, always goes through highs and lows, and people in high positions and business suits rub their hands and fret over the “future of the industry”, because they know art isn’t a necessity! For most of the world, art isn’t even in their radar—they’re too busy figuring out ways to survive to self-actualise. So, really, art is a luxury, a gift and a damn luxury, available only to those rich enough to have their basic needs of food, shelter and clothing covered before ascending up the pyramid of needs. In that sense, I’m very, very lucky.

So, money is important. Extremely important. I looked down on money a lot in my younger years, and I think this is not uncommon among INFPs. I thought money was the bane of all evil, because it forced me to get a “normal job” and slave away at an occupation that allowed me no room for joy or creativity. I even considered living in a van or out of the back of a car, in order to escape the capitalist demands of society. All that has changed. Without money, the world would not exist. Without it, I wouldn’t have the internet, this laptop, my bed, the food in my fridge—nothing. It’s a bartering tool, a form of exchange: it’s the reason we can work at one job, and exchange those sweat, blood and tears spent during those 8 hours of the day for other items, like food or a ticket to the movies or a place to sleep. 

And when it comes to art, unfortunately, if you want to make a living in this world, your art has to be monetised, too. The reason artists struggle is because people like the idea of getting art for free. That’s why we have billions of pirated movies, books and films, an entire chunk of the internet devoted to the theft of the creative works of creative people. Somehow, the idea that art and money shouldn’t be linked has pervaded every part of society, to the point where people believe musicians, artists, writers and actors should practically work for free. The better the art is, the more in-demand it is, and the more copyright laws surround it—in other words, the less its availability on the internet for free—means the greater the chance it will turn a profit, and people will actually hand over actual money in return for it. Otherwise, you might as well be working 8 hours at a job, and getting nothing to show for it except the “joy” and “creativity” of it. But will that feed you? No. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ll start monetising my blog any-time soon. For one, it’s because the profit margin would be low, since it costs around $100 a year to monetise this blog in the first place, and from advertising revenue, at my current rate of daily views, I would only earn around $200 per annum. Still an extra $100, but why take the risk, when I’m only basing my earnings on an estimate? Two, the idea of paying my readers to read my content is abhorrent to me—I write because I love it, and I would never dream of asking my blog readers to have to fork over cash in order to have access to my words. Perhaps there’s still a little bit of the idealist left in me after all, despite all my growing up.

Of course, I have considered other ways of earning money through this blog. My Patreon page has been a reasonable success—I have been able to help several people with their INFP life problems (here is my Patreon page, if you’re interested: https://www.patreon.com/dreamerrambling) through phone calls, Skype messaging and emails, which has been very fulfilling for me, to the point where I’m almost considering turning it into a career, creating my own website and becoming a source of support and a counsellor for other INFPs and other people all over the world. Then again, I always feel guilty for taking people’s money, even though they give it to me out of the kindness of their heart, because I know not everyone who seeks out these services are wealthy, and they oftentimes are struggling themselves, which makes me want to give all my services for free (you cannot imagine how many emails I received when I first started this blog, asking for INFP advice) but then means I can’t eat or keep a roof over my head, which means I can’t help them, which means—

Yeah. You get the drift.

 

Money. It’s annoying, but we need it.

Are INFPs “Nice”?

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Yes. For the most part, if you’re someone who is lovely and kind yourself, as most people who INFPs hang out with tend to be, we’re the kindest, nicest and sweetest people you will ever meet. The kind that kisses butterflies and sings babies to sleep—the kind that makes evil people hate us, the way the cold-hearted Queen loathed the gentle and pure-hearted Snow White, and less compassionate people wonder if there are truly angels in this world. In terms of purity and kindness, INFPs are peerless and unmatched.

But.

Yes, there is a “but”, in all this, and before I dive into what I’m about to say, I want to remind you of something. INFPs, every single one of us, were born into this world with a heart as a pure as starlight. Unfortunately, as happens to most people in this world, we grew up and realised other people and society were less kind, more cruel and darker, and in order to cope in a scary, frightening world, sometimes, even rabbits have to learn to bite wolves. Does this mean the rabbit has turned into something hard-core and carnivorous? No. The rabbit does it out of necessity—deep down, all the rabbit wants to do is gambol in fields and nibble on grass and sniff things. But because wolves exist, threatening the rabbit’s way of life, it has no choice but to arm itself, or else be eaten and devoured and suffer for a very long time before it dies.

Something strange happens when you throw a pure creature into a world of monsters: suddenly, the pure creature discovers a wellspring of power within themselves that they’d never known before and becomes a fighting force in their own right. In other words, INFPs are nice, but up to a point. There is always a line you can cross, no matter how much it takes to get to that line—the line always exists. No-one is without a line in their lives, or else they’d have no spine or backbone at all, and INFPs are anything but spineless. The first time you do something horrible to us—and for some reason, INFPs, especially when they are young, appear to be easy targets, probably because we exude vulnerability the way the sun does light—we can, sometimes, find it in our hearts to forgive you, especially if there’s a good reason for it e.g. a traumatic past or childhood, an unhappy family situation. The second time, however, is a different matter—the third time it happens, regardless of whether it’s the same person or not, we become a little jaded, a little more sour.

I’m not sure what happens when you cross an angel, but I imagine the anger of something pure is far more frightening than the fury of something evil. That is because good is always stronger than evil—and goodness angered, is a force to behold. Cross the line with an INFP (and usually this involves severely overstepping our values, like murdering a kitten with sadistic pleasure right before our eyes, or taking advantage of us in some irreparable way, like sexual assault, or hurting one of our family members), and you might as well have angered a clever rabbit who is able to detonate a series of human traps to capture an entire wolf’s clan.

Depending on our maturity, we’re not afraid to make sure people get their comeuppance, and this is far from the “nice” image some people have of INFPs, that’s we’re these soft, gentle creatures who would never dream of retaliation. No. That kind of “niceness” is only practised by very inexperienced and immature INFPs who haven’t realised that sometimes in this world justice needs to be served regardless of the consequences, because evil does exist and needs to be punished, or else it will continue to perpetuate and hurt others. While I won’t go into the details of how I’ve dealt with situations where people have severely crossed the line with me, I’ve always made sure to seek the power of the law and other authority figures and do whatever is in my power to rectify the situation and make sure the perpetrator doesn’t get away scot-free, happy as a daisy after causing destruction and ruination.

This is a lesson INFPs learn only as they grow older, which is that “niceness” is only useful when interacting with other nice people. When you’re dealing with cruel, cunning and evil people, “niceness” needs to go out the window, and be replaced by firm, implacable strength and a zeal for justice to be served. This is how INFPs become proponents and champions for underdogs and mistreated people, for the bullied, the disenfranchised, and the misfits. As J.K Rowling once mentioned in one of her Harry Potter novels, it is often those who seek power the least who most suited to leadership, and I believe INFPs fit in this category, in that, although we shy from the spotlight and don’t want to lead anybody or anything, sometimes, it’s necessary for us to take up the mantle of responsibility and lead ourselves or other people to salvation.

I’m a rabbit, leading my army of rabbits against the big, bad wolves, and with our wits and our hearts and our love for each other (and perhaps some guns and machetes, you know, just for a little extra bite to our entourage), no wolves will stand a chance in our way.

When INFPs Feel Like They Don’t Fit In

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I’ve always wondered what it would be like to go to university, to go to lectures, like a normal person, on their way to good things in life, to have a group of laughing, fun friends, to go to sushi bars and eat lunch after lectures, study in the library, have drinking games and parties where you steal kisses in bedrooms and get drunk. Go to nightclubs and restaurants, go ice-skating and shopping, holidaying to fantastic places with a boyfriend and friends, have a wardrobe filled with trendy clothing and lots of high-heels, a collection of perfumes, go to work everyday at a well-paying position earned from years of hard work and studying. To be “normal”.

I’m certain this is a feeling experienced by many INFPs, this feeling that we are just too different, that we don’t fit in with everyone else, regardless of the group we’re with. Partly this is because our lives can be on the more unconventional side—in my case, I left school early and decided to pursue a career as a fiction writer while working part-time jobs and figuring out my life; but I know INFPs who went to university but couldn’t find a job in their field and became non-profit organisation workers, volunteering their time and working side jobs; or became painters and solo artists; or realised their true calling lay far from what the education system could provide—and partly because we are inherently a little unconventional. We’re creative, and we’re different—in the eyes of other people, that’s code-word for “weird”. Our thoughts are too creative, too out-there, otherworldly, we feel too much, think too much, the list goes on and on…

So we’re constantly on the outside, looking in. Even if we fake it, pretend we like what others like, sports and the latest fashion, and pretend we’re just as normal and conventional as they are, we can never keep the act up, it simply uses up far too much of our energy. So we smile, and pretend, to keep the peace, then retreat into our own inner worlds, where everything is fantastical and perfect.

I wish I had a solution for this problem, but I don’t. I think, in the end, we’re a little bit tragic, because of who we are, in that we’re destined to never feel as though someone (except for maybe another INFP) truly understands and knows us, because we’re so strange and complicated sometimes.

It would be best, I think, if we could create our own world, somewhere on a planet far from here. A world filled with libraries, and staircases running this way and that, and cats and cups of tea galore, where rain always patters gently against the windows and fireplaces flicker with light and we are free to be as weird and kooky as we want to be.

Our imaginations and creativity, however, are a gift. Everything has an opposite, a positive and a negative; if we didn’t feel different from other people, we wouldn’t possess any originality or creativity, and if we didn’t have our imaginations, we wouldn’t be INFPs at all. And as someone who regularly visits imaginary worlds as part of her calling, I feel as though it’s a fair trade-off. I’d rather be strange and isolated, than unoriginal and empty. Perhaps this is my 4w5 Enneagram surfacing, but I honestly feel this way, I really do. If you asked me to give up my creativity so I could be normal like everyone else, and live the “high-life”, I’d tell you to take your Faustian bargain elsewhere, thank you very much.

So, cheer up: it’s hard to feel like you never fit, and having to always pretend, but there’s a place for us, I know it is, and it exists within our minds, within our hearts and our imaginations. It exists in the world between worlds, where everything is full of magic and adventure, where we get to go on rip-roaring crusades on flying pirate ships and devour the moon. And that’s all that matters.

What Kind Of Love Stories Do INFPs Like?

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Well, considering how much of a romantic INFPs are, I wouldn’t blame you if you believed INFPs love the sappy, romantic stories, where the prince rescues a girl, or those love-hate stories where two people hate each other, the sexual tension building, until they finally fall in love, or even those stories, to be a little more unconventional, where the maiden manages to rescue the man, and they fall in love and live happily ever after, walking off into the sunset.

No. While those stories are all nice and good, you forget we are quite creative people, and turned off by the banal and unconventional. No, no and double nope: the stories that appeal to us, the love stories which get our hearts aflutter, and put a big, dreamy smile on ours faces, are the kind that are special, unique, and yes, sometimes a little strange. Oftentimes they have a twist to them, or are particularly pure and innocent. Without further ado, here is a list of the kind of love stories INFPs like.

  1. When the love story does not take the centre stage.

What? Yes, you heard me right. We actually like stories, oftentimes adventurous, fantasy ones, filled with magic and intrigue, where the love story isn’t actually the centrepiece of the novel or film. In other words, we like it when love isn’t a character almost in itself because of the importance it plays in the work of art, simply because it’s different and goes against the grain of the endless parade of books and films where the love between two characters is the reason the movie exists in the first place (take Titanic, or Twilight, for instance). Instead, there are films like Princess Mononoke by Hayao Miyazaki (I’ll be referencing him a lot in this post, simply because he is my favourite filmmaker, and, from my interactions with INFPs and endless trawling through INFP forums, one of the most beloved film-makers of INFPs), where the romance is completely overshadowed by the greater plot of a group of people trying to slay a forest god and destroy an entire ecosystem. This is because, for INFPs, romantic as we are, love actually doesn’t play a central role in our lives—more of a sweet, peripheral role, because we are full of dreams, hopes and desires completely unrelated to the search for a mate.

  1. When the love is innocent and pure.

Too often, love stories are about passion, lust and sex. The characters barely know one another, if they were put in a room together for 24 hours they would soon get sick of each other, but put them in a dangerous situation, or in a bedroom, and suddenly, clothes are flying off like feathers from a bird and they’re kissing and everything is happening. It’s a little bit too much for INFPs, if I’m going to be honest with you, a little too much and a little bit unrealistic. Instead, when the love is the enduring kind, where they don’t just fall in love over the course of a day, but grow to understand and learn about each other, seeing each other’s good sides and bad sides— that’s when we truly “fall in love” with the love story. INFPs, although daydreams, can be extraordinarily picky about accuracy and realism when it comes to the books and films we consume—I bet that’s something you didn’t know about us! While I can’t think off the top of my head of such a story—maybe the Sound of Music love story between Maria and Captain Von Trapp?—I do know that such love stories are definitely a favourite of mine and other INFPs.

  1. When the female protagonist is brave, good and strong.

There are so many weak female protagonists in fiction and films, it’s simply unbelievable—so many women who need to be rescued, who fall into the arms of a rich men and stay safe in the shelter of his wealth, so many “transformations” where the heroine turns from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan and the male lead suddenly falls in love with her, that it’s sickening. Do you know what men in real life are like? Most of them are not here to sweep us women off our feet, or buy us Chanel and Dior bags, or take the time to pay for expensive makeovers so that we can look more attractive—instead, they’ve got their own lives, their own problems, their own fears and worries and desires, just like you and me. They’re looking for a friend, someone to love and lean on, just as much as we are looking for those things. So it’s refreshing when a female protagonist in a love story is independent and strong. She doesn’t necessarily need to be a snarky, kick-ass protagonist—since when did strong equate with being extroverted?—but she must have a well of inner strength and power that makes her shine brighter than any glittery eyeshadow or sparkly blush ever could. Why do INFPs like such stories? Because we’re very strong people. Delicate on the outside, as hard as water on the inside (ever fall from a great height and smack onto a body of water? That’s as good as hitting a slab of concrete). We have to survive in a world that oftentimes doesn’t care about purity or morality, and somehow remain pure and moral in spite of that. We’re diamonds, darling, the un-cut kind, and we adore love stories where the female protagonists have an unbeatable gleam in their eye, and knows exactly how to sacrifice themselves to save the world.

  1. When the male love interest is a partner, an equal, not a shield or protector.

Us INFPs can protect ourselves. Because of our quiet and delicate natures, from an early age, we are often bullied, disparaged or taken advantage of. By the time we reach our adult years, we are in no way in the dark about the ugly sides of human nature or our own resilience and ability to withstand suffering. INFP women, if they’re mature, don’t need a man to shield them from the big, bad world. We know our own way through the woods. We don’t need (excuse me while I throw up) a shoulder to cry on and a good (and oftentimes muscular; if you read enough novels you’ll know what I mean) chest to lean on as we sob and cry, and for him to kiss away our tears and hold us close, like a fragile bird, and whisper, “I’ll always be here for you.” Bleurgh. Double bleurgh. We don’t need that. Maybe it comes from an unconscious distaste for the conventional, but us INFPs would feel so suffocated and unwell, to our very core, if that aforementioned scenario happened to us. Instead, we like love stories where the love interest doesn’t baby us, but instead is a good, solid friend almost, who gives us advice and believes in us and urges us to fight for our dreams. Not some male equivalent of a therapist and pillow in one.

  1. When the love story is funny.

Okay, so, yes, I don’t know many comedy-romance films or books, but surely there must be some out there, right? And yes, INFPs, we do need funny love stories in our lives because we’re so serious all the time. Seriously (ha, get what I did there?). INFPs are incredibly serious people: we take the environment seriously, we take our careers seriously, we take our passions seriously, we take our relationships seriously—heck, I even listen to music seriously, making sure I absorb the full sonic experience of every note properly, in the zone and in the moment, all the while imagining some film or book scene in my mind that fits the tune. Fact is, we need to lighten up sometimes, and there’s nothing that’s better for lifting one’s mood than a funny love story. You know, where the guy makes a fool of himself, or the girl goes through a wild and wacky series of events to find the love of her life. Many Korean and Chinese dramas are good at delivering these kinds of storylines. Point is, even though if you asked us, we’d say we didn’t like these love stories, we actually need these stories in our lives, which is why I put it on the list.

 

So there you go folks, a couple of types of love stories that INFPs love. Maybe next time you’re picking out a book or film for your INFP friend or significant other, you’ll keep some of these in mind as you make your choice. Of course, any love story, no matter how banal or bad, is better than no love story, or, worse, a horror movie, so feel free to give your INFP loved one whatever movie they like, as long as it’s fun, entertaining and imaginative. That’s all from me folks for today—see you in the next one!

Girls Bring The Boys Out!

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I’ve written quite a few posts on love and romance regarding the INFP personality type, but I haven’t really ever written anything about the INFP women themselves—in other words, while I’ve detailed what INFPs like or want in man, and the kinds of man they might marry, I haven’t yet talked about the kind of partners INFPs women will make. And a disclaimer: I apologise for writing from this only from an INFP woman’s standpoint, and not an INFP man’s point of view—that is because I am an INFP woman, and cannot comment on the romantic qualities of INFP men with accuracy. However, if you’re an INFP man and reading this, feel free to comment and let others know what qualities INFP men bring to a relationship! Second disclaimer: these thoughts and opinions are my own, based on my experiences and interactions with other INFPs and my in-depth understanding of myself; other INFPs may be different, and that’s okay, because we’re all unique. Now, without further ado, lets find what makes INFP women bring the boys out!

Well, to be honest with you, before I begin, the truth is, most INFP women are overlooked by men. Sure, we may be pretty, and lovely, and “sweet” (I loathe that word; I don’t like it when I’m referred to as “sweet”, it makes me feel so flimsy and powerless for some reason) and kind, but we often radiate a kind of “don’t-come-near-me” aura, or a “I’m-lost-in-the-clouds-and-can’t-see-you” type of personality aspect that makes men very wary to approach us (they’re intimidated, in short), and oftentimes, this is a smart move, because us INFPs, being sensitive, can be very particular about the appearance, personality and aura of the man we like. One wrong move, one wrong word or behaviour, or a certain lustful gleam in one’s eye, and we are out like a too-slow person in musical chairs. So finally, for real this time, without further do, these are the qualities INFPs can bring to a relationship, if you can manage to get to be with us (it’s not that we feel superior to men, it’s just that we’re very sensitive and picky and gentle creatures).

1. Intelligence.

We’re a very smart and intuitive bunch of people. That’s just a fact. So be prepared for someone who has the ability to occasionally read your mind, know when you’re telling a whooper, and can sense, with the accuracy and sensitivity of an otherworldly creature, if you’re cheating on us (or even thinking of cheating on us). Let me just put it out there: it’s not easy being with an INFP, because we will look deep into your soul, into the dark and light, and see whether we like what we see—or not, in which case, we will break up with you. Instantly. INFPs, once they’re mature and fully-evolved, never hold onto anything that is bad for them, or toxic. Take it from me. What’s more, we can tell, from a mile away, if you only love us for our appearance or for the opportunity to “get in our pants”, and such men we do not even revile, they’re so beneath our notice.

2. Possible disgust and contempt.

Did you hear me right? Disgust and contempt? INFPs bring disgust and contempt to a relationship? What in tarnation do you mean, Anne? Well, what I’m trying to say is, the slightest thing, since INFPs are so sensitive, can trigger disgust or contempt for a person in an INFP. Let me give you an example. I once dated a guy who decided that the best way to get me “sexually attracted” to him was to go on and on about how much money he was capable of earning. This rubbed me the wrong way. In fact, it made me feel physically ill: he was lecherous, and greedy, and money-grubbing, and all-round entirely horrible. Suffice to say, I didn’t like him very much, and soon broke off the engagement. Likewise, if we can tell that you’re not the type of person to risk yourself to save, for example, a child, or don’t have it in you to make the moral, good choice when the time comes (and trust me when I say we can tell, even if the situation never arises), then we’re not going to be interested in you. Period. In fact, no matter how rich or handsome you are, we will be turned off. INFPs are angelic and pure creatures—we’re the closest thing to a completely kind human being that exists on this planet, and if you don’t measure up to our barometers for purity, morality and kindness, if we so much as catch a whiff of poison or evil in you, then you’re out.

3. Devotion.

If it so happens that you’re attractive to us, both physically and mentally, that you’re kind and pure, and we happen to actually fall in love with you, and our heartstrings actually get entangled with your heartstrings, then, let’s face it, you might as well have made a loyal friend for life. I cannot stress this enough: once INFPs are in, we’re in. We are highly loyal creatures, and our love, the strength of our hearts, knows no bounds. We will be your life partner, we will stand by you, whether lightning or sunshine strikes the sky, and you will never, not on this entire earth, find someone more devoted or caring. This doesn’t mean we’ll be submissive or subservient—devotion doesn’t necessarily entail us being a doormat—but instead, it means, although we retain our independent lives and identities, our existence becomes irrevocably tied to yours, and we would, if necessary, give up our life for you.

4. Have a love for anything exciting or fun.

By “fun” we don’t mean clubbing and waking up with a hangover the next day, or visiting places all around the world; instead, what I’m talking about is the consumption of fiction. Reality is boring. Fantasy is where the good stuff is—where we enjoy ourselves the most, live lives we could have never dreamed of living, be people we could never possibly be in real life; and if, somehow, you share this love for excitement and fun, or better yet, if you provide it, by gifting us our favourite books or movies (without the intention of getting us to fall in love with you; INFPs are immune to bribery), then we’re pretty much going to like you very much. By gifting us books and movies in the genre we love, you are essentially giving us pieces of magic and showing you care and understand us, and if that isn’t swoon-worthy, then nothing is.

5. Be unique.

INFPs are special, in the truest sense of the word; we retain our childlike wonder, have fantasy worlds bursting inside our heads, love animals, are kind to a fault. We are special. Of course, all personality types are special in their own way, but there’s something unique about INFPs. We’re like butterflies: beautiful to behold, fragile to the touch, and incredibly sensitive. Without us, the world would be a much darker and boring place; in a way, we’re almost like creatures of light, dispelling darkness wherever we go. So, by the same token, it helps if you’re quite a creative and unique person yourself, such as a filmmaker, or a writer, or an artist, or a children’s book illustrator, or a painter, etc. Creative types tend to gravitate towards other creative types, because imaginations blossom when they’re closer to other imaginations; and if I had to marry someone, in an ideal world, it would be the illustrator of the pictures and front cover of my future books.

 

So that’s it, so far (I might make a part 2, depending on the reception of this post) of my list of things INFPs might bring to a potential relationship. It takes a special kind of person to love and be with an INFP, and oftentimes, INFP women never find someone who loves them as much as their father or brother loves or loved them. Although we are quite happy on our own, and find solace in being a part of the universe, it’s good to have someone around, to lean one’s head on someone’s shoulder and feel safe and protected. If you’re interested in an INFP women, keeps these 5 points about what INFPs bring to a relationship in mind, so that you’re properly prepared for and aware of what you’re really getting into.

What Makes Other Personality Intimidated By INFPs

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Let’s face it, we’re not exactly the intimidating type, at least by traditional measures, are we? We are gentle, daydreamy, airy-fairy creatures who love animals, books and nature, and would never hurt a fly. Nevertheless, there are certain aspects to an INFP’s personality, depending on how mature and well-developed as a person they are, that make us intimidating to other personality types who may not possess the traits, talents or abilities that we do. Oftentimes, these traits have nothing to do with physical size or beauty (although I’m sure there are lots of beautiful-looking and comely INFPs out there in this world) or wealth or social status, or anything superficial that does not last longer than the breath of a wind, things which others, traditionally, found intimidating when other people possessed them.

In fact, in alignment with our personalities, INFPs tend to be quite slender and small creatures, like delicate will-o-the-wisps, rather ordinary but ethereal looking (our eyes always have this distinct, faraway look to them, as if they are viewing other worlds beyond our own—and they often are), have low social status because we don’t care about flashy cars or mansions, and be often times quite poor, because we’re starving artists living in garrets or with our parents, trying to eke out a living from our craft while holding down low-paying part-time jobs. Nevertheless, the aura of INFPs is a unique and distinct one, and while in the presence of it, and all our other marvellous traits, people can find themselves rather intimidated and awed. So, without further ado, here are some things that make other personality types intimidated by INFPs.

1. Our creativity and imagination.

When it comes to imagination and creativity, our skill set in this department knows no bounds. We are naturally inventive people, capable of works of art, be it books or short stories or paintings or sketches or songs, and often times, displays of this talent can awe and intimidate others, because the have no idea how a person could have dreamt it up. This is a natural ability of INFPs, to create and be creative, and something we are very, very proud of.

2. Our kindness.

INFPs are the kind of people to stop whatever they are doing, even if it is rather important, and save an ant about to drown in a puddle of water by using a stick to help it out. Our respect for nature, for all living creatures and humans, and our compassion and desire to help them, is unparalleled. We are kind, down to our very core, and for those who are less kind, whose hearts are colder and darker, we present as bursts of sunshine that hurt their eyes, and which causes them to feel great resentment towards us, and yes, be intimidated by us. When evil is met with purity, it cannot help, on some level, but be cowed, knowing that it is witnessing and in the presence of something they could, not in a million years, ever achieve.

3. Our insight.

We are good at reading people, situations and social dynamics. It’s just a natural ability of ours, like creativity or the ability to imagine all sorts of interesting and eccentric things. This can completely floor people—”how do you know that?”, they ask, wondering how we were able to pinpoint something about them, such as a personality trait or foible, in just one glance. With one look, one conversation, we can easily determine the character of a person, sometimes their hopes and desires, even their deepest, darkest thoughts (which is not necessarily a good thing, depending on the person in question; such thoughts, if exceedingly dark, can harm an INFP’s psyche quite badly). I used to think everyone noticed the things I did, felt the same discomfort I did around certain people, but the truth is, other personality types, while smart, can be less observant and intuitive when it comes to judging a person’s personality and character, their dreams, hopes and desires. It’s why we make great counsellors, and good mediators, and why it is very, very hard to lie to an INFP (sorry, but we’ll just see right through it).

4. Our daydreamy natures.
Sometimes, INFPs don’t seem like they come from this world; they’re too wishy-washy and full of daydreams, as if, at any moment, they could lift up from the ground and float away like a dandelion seed. To other people, if an INFP shows their true self, we can seem like aliens, come from another planet (which is, quite frankly, how we oftentimes feel). But this part of us can intimidate some people, as our ethereal personalities and natures are foreign to them, and can make them wary, if not outright hostile, towards us. Anything unfamiliar is often met with hostility, and I have lost count of how many times a stranger took one look at the otherworldly, ethereal gleam in my eye and treated me with a certain cautiousness and distrust.
5. Our purity.

I kind of dedicated an entire post to this (see this week’s posts), on how, as an INFP, I am naturally quite a pure-hearted person, so there’s no need to go through that again; but I must add, in accordance with the subject matter of this post, that this is another reason why some find INFPs rather intimidating. We are governed by strong morals and a very powerful, accurate inner moral compass in our everyday actions, thoughts and dealings with people, and that can turn some people off, simply because we make them look bad and sordid in comparison. While others would not hesitate, for instance, to fight over designer handbags in a store during a huge sale, INFPs, being too pure to be materialistic, are more often than not going to be in a corner somewhere with her nose buried in a book, and this blatant show of purity and lack of materialism tends to rub people the wrong way. Losing friends over being too pure or good for them is no matter to us—we’re perfectly fine and happy with our own company and imaginations, which brings me to my next point…

6. We’re astonishingly independent.

Once our living expenses are met, with a cat and a home library thrown in, we can live quite happily ever after entirely absorbed in books and creative pursuits, with little need for human interaction, affection or even love. That’s because we’re oftentimes very in touch with our Creator, rarely feel lonely because we’re always connected to the universe and nature, and find great solace and company in imaginary characters inside films, books and TV shows. Sure, having people around you is nice, and INFPs, while introverted, can feel very warmly towards other people; but for us, nothing beats being alone, by ourselves, lost in a fantasy world. If this independence makes some people jealous, or frightens them off, then it’s their loss—we’re not going to be affected by it, at the very least, because we’ll be too busy enjoying the company of ourselves and other imaginary characters.

7. We’re happy.

Being in touch with the universe and nature, and having creative passions, means that we are oftentimes very, very happy people. Of course, like with all types, depression can hit, and when it does, it’s very bad—but even when we’re depressed, we’re secretly very happy too, because it’s all so dreary and dramatic and fun. Tragedies and comedies might play out across our lives, but either will be equally welcomed, because INFPs love life itself, and anything that is a part of it, be it good or bad, is an object of curiosity, to be analysed and understood and enjoyed. The trick to true happiness is to view everything with wonder and curiosity, and that is just what INFPs do, every single day, every single minute and every single second of our lives.

What Makes An INFP Feel Contempt?

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Contempt. It’s a powerful emotion, suggesting the person feeling it has a certain superiority over another. However, there are times when contempt, the feeling that someone is beneath you, is necessary and justified. When faced with certain people, and certain situations, an INFP, pure of heart and soul, can sometimes feel nothing but contempt.

Over the course of life, we meet many contemptible people. These people, often, are those who care only about themselves, who don’t, to put it crudely, “give a shit” about anything other than their own comfort, desires, whims, safety and well-being. These people are despicable. To an INFP, they are disgusting.

Perhaps some examples are in order.

Take someone who is a billionaire, and instead of spreading the wealth among the masses, building infrastructure and schools and hospitals to benefit humanity, or use it to help heal the environment by planting trees and suchlike, they hoard it all for themselves, for their own families and friends, to buy pleasures and toys and holidays. That, to any INFP, would be contemptible. In the eyes of God, I am sure they are sinning, on a very great scale. But this kind of contemptible behaviour is not limited to those who are billionaires—ordinary, everyday people, who are reasonably well-off and middle-class, are guilty of this, too, in that they only care about themselves and their own social circle, about accumulating more wealth and safety and security for themselves, in a snatching, miserly kind of way, that it blinds them to others’ suffering. They choose relationships based on benefit, and feel good when they “collect” things, like beautiful children with good grades or a good home, or nice bags and shoes. In my opinion, a lot of INFPs would find this behaviour contemptible.

Then there are those who fail to see the value of other people and every person who spends their time working for the benefit of others on this planet. Those who look down on cleaners, or age care workers, simply because they do low-status or “dirty” jobs, make INFPs feel disgusted, because we know, deep down, that these people are hard-working, unsung heroes, oftentimes worth a thousand of those polished, shiny CEOs who spend their days living off the hard work of others and granting themselves huge salaries, like a well-fed cat on a pile of canaries. Such people are blind: they fail to see that the true worth of someone isn’t their paycheck, or the supposed “status” of their job, but the person they are, the kindness and trueness of their heart.

Cowards are contemptible. It’s okay to be scared. It’s normal. But when it comes to crunch time, that’s often when people’s true characters reveal themselves: are you someone who will push someone else in the path of danger, so as to save your own skin? Would you lock the door to someone at risk of dying or being killed, if it means you get to be safer? When someone is at their lowest ebb, starving or dying of thirst, are you the kind of person to give to them with love and compassion, or to turn your nose up and walk away? When people really need you, are you there for them, or, because it might be a little risky, or your reputation is at stake, you turn away? If someone is in danger, would you do everything in your power to try and save them, out of the goodness of your heart, even at risk to yourself? Are you able to slaughter an innocent animal, deliver the death blow, and eat the meat without it leaving a bad taste in your mouth? All these situations showcase the true colours of your heart—and if you choose the cowardly path each time, the loveless path, the selfish one, where your own life and feelings and reputation and safety and health is of the only importance in this world, and you’re too afraid of getting cut to save someone from being killed, then you’re someone INFPs find contemptible.

For those who are weak, and easily pushed around, more mature INFPs will also find them contemptible for not having a backbone. “Tough” INFPs (see my previous posts here, here and here) are often a little disgusted when someone lets themselves be hurt, pushed around, bullied and antagonised by other people without putting up a fight or speaking up or striking in self-defence. The only way to fight evil, is to be stronger and smarter than it. Of course, in the end, God is the only one who can truly save us from evil—but everyday, we have the choice to face small or big acts of evil head-on, with our own spirit and power, rather than cower and swallow the pain, like poison in our mouths. The same goes for those who witness evil happen to other people, but don’t do anything about it: that’s just as contemptible as committing the evil yourself, because being a bystander makes you an accomplice, a kind of second perpetrator.

Those who contradict themselves, who are hypocrites, are also contemptible. They are leading false lives, showing facades, when, in reality, their true beliefs and actions do not mirror their words, and all they have, at the end of the day, are false promises. People who relish others’ suffering are not just contemptible—they are worthless, trash. They are not human. Their hearts are as dark as pitch.

Those who don’t respect nature are contemptible, if not stupid. To be disconnected from nature, to not love nature, the trees and the bees and the flowers, is to be disconnected from yourself, God and the universe; you see yourself as separate from everything, and everything as dollar signs, banknotes, resources to be plundered, instead of the marvellous blessings and gifts that they are.

Individuals who lack self-awareness can sometimes be contemptible in the eyes of INFPs, because INFPs can be incredibly self-aware, and we have a hard time understanding how someone could be so blind to the evil within them or around them. Sometimes, although we might not admit it, those who don’t realise they’re being taken advantage or that the people that they call their “friends” and “family” are truly horrible people are sometimes viewed as idiots in our eyes. Our intuition is incredibly highly-developed, and we simply cannot understand how someone could be so thick, so blind. This is a fault, and perhaps a sin, of INFPs, because people’s’ intuition and inner compasses are not always perfectly developed and as advanced as ours, just like our ability to physically fight or speak in public are not as well-formed as other personality types. This is something we need to work on—it’s easy for the sensitive to treat the less-sensitive with contempt, and is a failure of the INFP heart which needs to be rectified.

Just like with all feelings, we feel contempt very deeply, and those who are at the receiving end of our contempt are almost always those who deserve it, because what we find contemptible is what is, objectively, evil, callous and unkind. But we mustn’t forgot that karma is real, and that those who hurt others truly hurt themselves the most in the end, so there’s no need to feel bitter about all the evil that happens in the world; and justice, sooner or later, whether in this realm or the next, is always served. Try not to incur the contempt of an INFP, the childlike dreamers and angelic warriors of this world, because there is nothing more terrible and powerful than the anger of someone pure and good.