20 Habits of INFPs

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  1. Taking different routes to places because they feel more “unique” and “exciting”, like following fairy trails or something like that.
  2. Always trying very hard to focus on the other person and their face when speaking to them, in case we look like we are bored and are daydreaming, as we often are.
  3. Unable to resist the urge to try and befriend cats, and always getting disappointed when they turn out to be wild, feline creatures who do not warm up to us as much as they should.
  4. Falling in love with someone from afar. That’s it. There’s no plot twist, no ending: the only thing that happens in this love story is that the young woman or man pines beneath the balcony forever, while everyone else happily goes on with their lives, including the object of their affection.
  5. Wanting to be a writer but unable to realise this dream completely because of one’s scatterbrained nature or the reality of earning an income in this world.
  6. Scrolling through career options late into the night for the same careers or jobs—childcare worker, nurse, and other “caring” careers—just to reassure yourself that you do have some utility in this world despite your daydreamy nature.
  7. Feeling an urge to drop everything and escape to a farm somewhere and never letting this urge become a reality. Because INFPs, in case you haven’t noticed, are not good with reality.
  8. Wanting to escape into fictional worlds and lives for all eternity so the realities of life, such as earning a living in this world, never have to be faced.
  9. Feeling so lost in life in terms of career options you could scream, because it seems you were born for nothing more than sitting around in meadows, picking flowers and philosophising on the meaning of life. Unfortunately for us, no-one in their right mind would pay someone to do that.
  10. Making a decision to eat only organic and healthy food because that way one is more “in balance” with nature, but then giving it up because junk food is too tempting and you get too depressed not to rely on it sometimes.
  11. Contemplating, after realising how limited one’s career options are and how most of the ones INFPs seem suited for pay not very much at all, how bad would homelessness be, really, I mean, as long as you’re not starving it can’t be too bad, right?
  12. Wishing you were born into a different family, one that was able to nurture your sensitive, creative nature instead of trampling all over it, or worse, ignoring your “special needs” as an INFP offspring.
  13. Being unable to find things. Period. I don’t know about you, but there seriously must be an invisible wormhole following me around for much of my days, because that’s the only plausible reason I can give for losing everything I own.
  14. Gazing wistfully at other people and their lives and wondering how they manage to have it all together so well, so perfectly- poised and comfortable and happy. I can’t remember the last time I was utterly comfortable and happy in this world.
  15. Watching episodes of your favourite TV show instead of doing more important things, like chores. Actually, scratch that—reading books instead of doing chores, because reading is a much more pleasurable activity than pretty much anything else.
  16. Completing chores improperly. What do you mean, the dishes are still a little greasy? And that spot on the floor, I missed it? Well, I must have been thinking of something else.
  17. Getting lost when you go to new places and panicking to no end because when you get lost, you feel like you’ve fallen off the edge of the Earth and will never find your way home again.
  18. Rescuing tiny creatures, like slugs or ants, saving them from being flushed down the drain or drowning in a puddle of water. Because you care.
  19. Always being the friend who supports/admires/helps/compliments the other louder and more rambunctious friend, while silently daydreaming and writing on the side whenever you think the other friend isn’t looking.
  20. Having a long list of coping mechanisms for dealing with the realities of life—such as writing lists like these, eating junk food, and watching various movies—that do nothing whatsoever to help you to deal with the realities of life.

Ways the World Could Be A Better Place For INFPs

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INFPs should have their own island. There, I said it, but it’s true: I sincerely believe that placing all INFPs on a particular island somewhere, preferably a place abundant in fresh springs and fruits, would be a good idea. So much of the world is industrialised these days, cities filled with bustling and busy people, that the entire planet has almost become a place difficult for INFPs to live on. A quiet island somewhere, a quiet retreat, dotted with clusters of libraries and crawling with cats, would be the perfect place for INFPs to live and flourish, for endless golden days.

Basic universal income should be introduced, whereby everyone is given just enough to live on—the barest minimum—so that way, artistic and creative people, as INFPs often are, can chase their dreams of becoming artists and writers without getting worried they’ll end up on the streets. Introducing a basic universal income will take the stress of money out of life for INFPs, who want very little in terms of material goods, and give us the time and opportunity to flourish in our own quiet and simple ways, without the threat of homelessness or unemployment hanging over us everyday simply because of the way we are—introverted daydreamers aren’t very hot on the job market—or our career aspirations.

The world would be a better place for INFPs if INFPs actually had their own “group” and “leader”, the way some political parties have their own leaders. Working together as  a team, we could advocate  for things for INFPs, such as the construction of quieter libraries, or a lack of discrimination towards introverted daydreamers when it comes to jobs. It would be almost like having your own family, except the famiy would be made up of thousands of other people who are INFPs but strangers, a kind of support network that I imagine would surely be very useful and comforting for many INFPs living in the world today.

Another good idea, as an alternative to the island, is to set up lots of INFP centres around the place, in every country on the globe. These would be safe havens for INFPS, filled with books, cats and other INFPs, for INFPs to go to when their home or work life in the modern world is getting unbearable (as it often does). Entry would require the applicant to fill in a Myers-Brigg test and have it turn out to be INFP, as well as the gauging of the prospective applicant’s personality  by various members of the faculty, and free food and water would be provided, just enough for a person to live on, and here INFPs, in the company of other dreamers, and plenty of books, movies and animals, pillows and dreamcatchers and comfort, would be able to rewind and recover. Everyone needs a refuge, and I can imagine little more perfect than official refuges for INFPs all over the world.

8 Life Tips for INFPs (aka Idealists) Which I Don’t Follow

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**If any of you who read my blog or are just stumbling across it are needing any life advice or guidance, especially if you are sensitive, introverted or a dreamer and feels a little lost in this cold world, please send your Skype username to dreamerrambling@hotmail.com. Though I can’t guarantee I can speak with everyone, I will try my best. These sessions will be free, as I’m just going to be practicing my life coaching skills and developing my own techniques and learning how to talk and counsel people. Thank you for helping me practice and taking me a step further on this new little journey of mine, and I hope that I can help you in the process too. Please no spam: it’d be good to send a message along with your username telling me a little about yourself. Thanks. Keep dreaming.

1. Stop caring what other people think. Other people don’t matter. What matters is you and your life. You are nothing but a passing thought in most people’s minds (sorry, it’s the truth). So if they don’t give a damn about you, why do you give a damn about what is going on in their brains? Live your life and stop feeling hurt and over analyzing people.

2. Money isn’t the root of all evil. INFPs have habit of disdaining money. They lift their noses into the air and pronounce haughtily that wealth doesn’t matter to them, that they will follow their passions even if it means becoming a starving artist. But money is useful. It is needed for survival. So please, don’t ignore it. Think about it as a tool (not the main source of happiness) that can you help you achieve the life you want to have. Get a job that pays okay and spend the rest of your free time dreaming, writing and reading.

3. You have to face reality sometimes. Okay, I know, the clouds up there with the rainbows and faeries and magic and wonder is awfully appealing. But you’ve got come down to Earth sometimes. Don’t shut yourself in your room in your own fantasy world while letting the bills pile up, your savings dwindle and your relationships with other people wither all the while cursing the cruel world and retreating into books.

4. What matters is the present. I know you’ve got that sparkly vision in your mind of the future. But that’s the future, it hasn’t happened yet. You have to concentrate on the present and do your best to move forward in your life right now. And here’s the thing (you ready? you ready for this?): The future will eventually become the present. If you’re always comforting yourself with the thought that the future will be better, you’ll be just chasing your own shadow until the day you die.

5. Logic (aka practicality) is useful. Oh, how I used to belittle logic! I thought creativity was the zenith and sublimation of human thought. But logic is vital for survival. It’s used to construct buses and trains and planes, grow food to feed the world, creates new medicines for diseases, etc. Pretty words and pretty thoughts aren’t going to effect much change in the world. Doing things through using logic to transmute those pretty thoughts into flesh and blood reality? That’s what’s really going to make a difference.

6. It is impossible to achieve perfection. No, no, listen. Really listen. Let the words be branded into your mind. It is impossible. There is no such thing as perfection. So stop trying to make you, your life and other people around you perfect. It’s just not happening. You are wonderful human being and should give yourself more credit for your achievements. Also, your partner will never be perfect. Don’t idealize them to the point where they feel they can’t live up to your expectations.

7. Not everyone you meet is out to get you. I know INFPs can see insults and criticisms that aren’t there because we read into things so much using our intuition. A lot people are nice in the world. A lot of people in the world also say things without thinking. Don’t morph words and suggestions into hints that other people don’t like you or want to bully you. So don’t take things too personally (I know, that’s kind of like telling a penguin to fly. But we have to work on it! *determined expression with pencil raised high in the air like a victory sword*).

8. Try to be a little less reserved. Now before you throw your tomatoes at me, hear me out. I don’t mean go against your very nature and force yourself to be an extrovert, which is just stupid. I just mean that maybe next time, when you are deciding whether to talk to a person, talk to them. Next time a teacher asks a question (if you’re still in school), raise your hand. Make a new friend. Step out of your social boundaries just a little and you might find it better and easier than you expected. It could also be a great confidence booster!

So, there you go. Sorry, what was that? I have to practice what I preach? Now where did you ever get a funny idea like that? Lord, practice what I preach….the ridiculous things people come up with these days…*scoffs*

What about you guys? Have an tips to add?